SCHOOL's OUT FOREVA! [.jpg]

MINI UPDATE:
I decided to merge this video with this post, cuz some pix are repeated. Anyway, a friend of mine, Mahmoud, made me feel like a celebrity & made this here movie with my pics. Thank you kindly. Woohoo! I am NOT the queen. But i laughed my ass off thinking what if i was :D It was such a surpirse for me, I have never expect that to happen! DON'T YA JUST LOVE THE FISH?? Hope everyone is well.
The music is David Usher - Black Black Heart, in case your wonderin' ;)

SCHOOL'S OUT, BABY!

Now, there will be no:

* flowers for teachers

* presents for teachers
* boringass lessons

* no fake smiles & wishes

~~BUT!!

* no wacky photosessions

I SAID WACKY!

* no pizzas on the floor in the cafeteria

* no English teacher saying that there is no word as "cafeteria"

* no lessons to skip :D

* no tests to cheat on.

* no ping pong? damn it, kill me!

NO DWELLING! We prefer partying.

Oops, WRONG PIC. (hehe)

Dance with Your REAL friends :)

PEE on your enemies. JUST like THAT. & receive pleasure from doing so. Even if kids are watching you. Just PEE & be proud :D

Open Your eyes to a whole new world. There are those people to whom i can gladly say i LOVE you :)

* the romantic ones

* the cutieee ones

* the classy ones

* the insanely SQUEEZABLE ONES!

Taoism is an amazing philosophy-religion. I credit Dan for explaining that everyone of us is a universe, the Tao. These people are my universe, they are my Tao. Without them i wouldn't be edyta-ing at all.

'SCHOOL'S OUT FOR SUMMER!

SCHOOL'S OUT FOREVER!

Mah SCHOOL'S BEEN BLOWN TO PIECES!'

Alice Cooper

A |Black| & |White| Holiday ;D + photos & video

At last I will make a post simply about myself and my life. I haven't written anything particular but i was doing over things: taking photos, having ideas for a movie. It's been a swell time, honestly. But it was quite contrasting: it was black & white.

This is me & a heart on my palm.

My friend Erick is an awesome photographer. I think that a perfect job for him would be working for Vogue or Elle. If he does, hope I will be worth his time. This is a person you feel comfortable working with, no matter who you are. And my grandmum ADORES him. LOL.

I decided to show everyone CLEO. I haven't been drawing for a long time but here she is. I drew her for Ahmed & she's his. Hope he doesn't mind me sharing her with everyone :P Do you, Yorkie? Squeeeeeeezes & smooches for Ya! (from me, of course :D)

Our silent movie. They have always been my cup of tea. Beware of LADY Agata!!

It's always good to look aside and to know that I am not alone. I do have friends. Very kind. There for me. Even if everything is black and white. They add colour to my life.

See what I mean?

"You don't have to actually walk to walk away. You just need to stand still and emotionlessly watch me go. Although I had left, YOU were the one to walk away from me."

This line is for Dan. You wanted something about walking. I somehow thought of this line when i was in the bathtub washing my hair :D Hope Laura & Lulu are doing great!

~***[2005] We've All Seen This

*~And because I am forever thankful to You;

*~And You laughed with me;

*~And cried with me;


*~And You prevented me from making the biggest mistakes


*~And because You help me fight with myself.


I couldn't have done it without You. I wouldn't be here or anywhere else.


The only thing worse than evil is apathy. (Cult Of Luna)


This is the poem that has been hanging on my door for 2 years now.

***

Guaranteed to be safe
The currency won't be changed
Nights are lighted
Days are greeted
Seems to be a miracle
Discoveries a year ago
They've never seen this...

Artificial colors
Yet nothing bothers
They are making a movie again
A song again
Their words keep flying
Into a whirlpool of thoughts
Voices are lying
Again, again, again

Fix your smile
Walk a mile
While guitars are playing
You still got time
Reveal, what u hide
They've never seen this...

How you changed, diamond
Worthless heaven, and my Lord,
How we devote our lives
To shreds of our kind
We call it love, but you...
Then I...
They've never seen this

Then we stop beginning
Start our ending
The air is polluted
They are making a movie again
A song again
It’s me again, not you again...
We've all seen this...

We call it love
They've never seen this
It's me again, not you again...
We've all seen this...

Thank You, 'cuz You exist.

~*Marilyn @--}--

Now it's my turn to say
What's been said too many times.
You're flawless, I tell You, flawless.
We've made tributes to You
For years and years
Hiding Your real life and fears
Because who cares, right?
Not those look-alikes
They seem to be exactly You
With a slight difference
That You are You
And You are better.
It hurts them so much to admit
That You made them ugly
You made them cheat.
Despite that they were beautiful
Before becoming You
They should have been worshiped
May haps even more than You,
Mrs. to the poor, Miss to the rich
You are not creative, You're someone's creation
Not too pretty - just under beautification
You're a victim of apotheosis and sanctity
An elusive goddess in eternity.
Your life is one fragile ambiguity
Illuminated by discrepancies of your tears
You're decrepit
You're pure poison
You're dead
Yet You never rot.
You can innocently kill everybody
Even Yourself.
You're flawless, I tell You, flawless!
You made people wonder and never know.
Simple. Because You're the only Marilyn Monroe.

*Note: I'm sorry I have been away. We all have harder times, eh? Well, I'd like everyone to join me and celebrate my blogger anniversary :D It's been a year! Thank You everybody who have read and commented on my poetry and epics. I wouldn't have made it without You! HUGS!

~**So Nice Of You To Come...(2005)

HEY!
Winter has come and my fave month, December. That's why I decided to change into a blueish template, to feel the snow that we lack in Lithuania at the moment.
I have something that I have been keeping away from everyone till December :) It's a last year's story that NO ONE has read yet. I think it's a very romantic story and it's about Christmas & the contrast between summer & winter all in one. Hope you like it.
I've also changed some musical tunes. Feel free to rock whilst u read LOL :D & while I'm here, I'd like to send my warmest wishes to everyone who beared with me in time of my hiatus. I'll be a year older soon, this month, in fact. This scares me :) Lotsa love & warm wishes towards all of you!
Edyta (Double Dee, Beaver, Dragon, Edda, Dyta, u name it ;D)
***
I don't really remember us talking ever since. No, no, no... I didn't mean to harm you, I swear, it just happened. I don't really know why. It was so warm, that day. Me, sitting in my room, reading a book. A book on geography, I believe. And you, watching me from way up there. Man, I remember how I wanted to go to the Honolulu Islands. Maybe because it was Christmas, filled with snow and I wanted sun. Maybe because I so-desperately wanted to lose myself in paradise. Or maybe it was because just the other day I was listening to a CD in a shop, full of candles, relaxing music, bath salt of different fragrances. That kind of vibe.
I drifted in my dreams and somehow didn't hear you come in. But I had such a feeling when you came in and I didn't spot your entrance. I had a feeling like some higher power was smiling at me, while I was myself: not praying everyday, not covered in any masks, not going to church and not realizing the whole concept behind Christmas. No, I've never cared about those things. Then I saw your face. You smiled at me. I got shy for a moment, hey, I wasn't expecting anyone. And then you came. And I realized that although I hadn't been expecting anyone, you came in and made it me happy.
Shit... Means that I was expecting you after all... But unconsciously... Still, I was.
I smiled back at you.
'Hey ', I said
'Interrupted you?'
'Not at all.'

You sat down next to me. I felt that you touched me. But you didn't. You sat down next to me in approximately two centimeters. And you didn't touch me, I know it. Still I felt something on me.
'Damn, where did you hurt yourself?', you asked me
'Oh... Here... I don't know.'
So this is what I felt... your look. You were looking at my hands... Face...
And, yes, we say:' I've been touched by an angel.' Yeah right... An angel comes down and touches you... Tell me another... So maybe an angel looks at a person and then that very same person feels it and convinces himself and his surrounders that he, in fact, has been touched by an angel. Well, maybe not.
'What are you reading?' Your voice, it somehow changed.
'About the Honolulu Islands.'
'Cool. When are you planning to go there?'
'Anytime.'
'Would you take me?'
'Only if you're good.'
'Ok. Is that a 'no'?'
'Nope. That's an 'anytime'.'
You know guys, when two people are talking; they sometimes have those so-called blank moments. Have you ever wondered what the other person is thinking about? I have. There can be two things. A person can wonder if he should leave or not. Or he's thinking what the other one is thinking. Well... If he is thinking about leaving, means he might also think about what he's going to do after his disappearance, he can manage his plans for the day or even for a whole lifetime.
'Why are you silent? What are you thinking about?' (Means he was thinking about things I had been thinking about)
'Nothing.' (And I was thinking what he had been thinking about)
He smiled at me.
Have you ever looked a person in the eye, while he's smiling? So straightly, stubbornly. I have. At that moment a person's eye is filled with purity. And they are shining so brightly. And, hey, just listen to this; you can see the kind of heart that person has if you look him in the eye.
Wait, then, if you look at his nose, you will get information about his lungs or liver? Baloney.
I smiled back. This was a warm moment, just because you accidentally touched me with your leg.
'Sorry.'
No. I still don't know why I have been laughing for about ten minutes. I would look like a mad person if you haven't been there to join my loud laughter.
'So why did you say 'sorry'?'
‘I somehow touched you.’
'I didn't feel anything.'
'Really? Next time I will try harder.'
Again the laughter. And hey... There was nothing to laugh at. Oh... I remember that it was hard to breathe afterwards.
'Merry Christmas, honey', you said
'Thank you. Merry Christmas you too.'
'Here is something for you.'
'My Gosh, you shouldn't have.'
'Open it.'
'Ok'
And when you open a present, you wonder what the hell can it be, because you seem to have everything you've ever wanted and yet another present is given to you.
One more thing, which is interesting, is the expression on a person's (who gives you the present) face. He is smiling; looking at you, at the present and once again at you. So then you think, if he's smiling and wants you to see the present... Means, the present has to be unexpected and incredibly special.
'Thank you. Thanks. This is beautiful. But this was your ring?'
'Don't like it?'
'I love it.'
'It's a piece of me. I want you to know that I love you thiiiiiiiiiiiiis much.'
'Huh? And I love you thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much.'
Now why did I show my tongue...? Again, the laughter... I began to feel tired. So I lay down, closed my eyes for a second. I opened my eyes and you were gone without a trace. How? In one eye blink? It's less than a second.
In twenty minutes I went to another room. I thought maybe you joined my family for a Christmas meal. Instead I discovered... You'd never been here.
My mum told me to sit down. I did that. Then told me to stay calm. And only then she told me about the thing she heard on the news.
'On the way to the countryside, a young man dies in a terrible car accident.'
I couldn't breathe at all. I sat there for thirty minutes speechless. Then I screamed.
'He wanted to visit me, mum. He wanted to be with me in this house, on this Christmas Eve. He wanted to give me a present. He... He was here with me!'
Hysterically, I was running through out the whole house, searching for him. He was not dead. Furthermore, he was talking to me and gave me his ring. He had told me about it. It was a present from his grandfather... But the ring once belonged to his unknown ancestor.
I didn't find any sign of him being here today. No wonder, I didn't feel his touch. Maybe I was dreaming? So why the fuck am I wearing this ring? I stopped searching. I fell down on that solid ground. I saw his silhouette, looking straight at me, once again, smiling. I closed my eyes and screamed so hard that I lost my voice. My parents found me laying there, on the ground, where I fell down, and crying without a sound.
And no, I didn't commit suicide, because of my unhappy love. I understood that my love is waiting for me. Maybe it plans to start in another life.
I left this fucking house and went to the Honolulu Islands; I took him with me, as I promised. It was a lot of fun, until...
'Girl drowns in the ocean. Rescuers could not save her due to unknown circumstances.'
I don't remember us talking ever since that day. Until now... As we everyday smile... Fall, winter - at that old house. Spring, summer - on the Honolulu Islands. We smile everywhere, everyday. We don't talk anymore. I've never taken that ring off. It protects me... (From what?)... From thinking about the future and realizing there is none... For us.

2005

CocoRosie feat. Antony - Beautiful Boyz (tisk, tisk, tisk, Josh, You got me addicted to that song!)

**UPDATE! One of the most talented people I know has proposed his soulmate and she has accepted it. This is a beautiful thing to hear! I am truly happy. I feel so enlightened and I wish to give Ravi & Akankshi all of my positive energy and best wishes.

EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!

::..The Evolution Of My Halloween..::

'I am bored to death', she said and looked at her friends whilst they were coming back home from school.

'Why so?', a friend asked.

'I need something new, something scary. I want to celebrate Halloween and YOU ARE INVITED.

***The Evolution Of My Halloween.***

2000's BASH!

UP ^

We were such swell kids, amaaaaazing :) Found meeeeeee in this pic? Well, I'm the one with a blonde shred of hair on my head :D The headless things are Julia & Maria, the photogenic masked witch is Natalia and the Russian "Baba Jozhka" :D is Kasia.

UP^

Me(in black), Kasia, Natalia (unmasked already :D), Julia & Irena :) It was when we decided that the costumes can go off (partly), we can make some pics & then dance around the house :)

Summary:

It was definitely a marvelous party; now remains a perfect memory: no fights, only smiles, laughs and happy faces. It was when we decided this had to become a tradition.

2001's BASH!

!!~Pitty everyone forgot to take their cameras with them: don't forget, 2001 is still the ErA of normal cameras, not the digital ones. I mean, I knew abt the digital camera but I thought it was something that I could never have had. Guess I was wrong, cuz now every dog has it even in his cell phone. Guess I am one of those dogs :D Anyway, the bash was great. We all had different costumes this time and I remember me having a chain on my leg, so I think I was a prisoner's ghost or something. I guess this Halloween remains a mystery. Well, all traditions have their secrets and Halloween 2001 is a secret to you and me :) All I know, everyone loved it & waited for the next year to come faster.

2002's BASH!

UP ^

Woooooooohooooo! Another year, another bash :) This time it's 2002's Halloween Bash! I guess we changed. I mean, just look at the last pix and compare them to these. I think I changed. But we still had LOADSSSS of fun :D The 2 photogenic ghosts or the Scream Movie Characters are Julia and Natalia(Natalia's pale & Julia's yellow :D) The leopard *gRrR* is Maria, The Witch or 'Baba Jozhka' (I just luv that word) is My dear blondie, Agata. I am hugging my friend, Eve, aka Mortish and who am I? I am a vampire (btw, I remember me searching for my thangs and screaming: 'I am not starting the party without my thangzzzz, damn it!')

UP ^

Oh YEAH, a different pose, all you POSERS :D There's a funny ~illusion~ in this pic, if ya'll look closely at the hand embracing my friend Eve (Mortish) you shall see that it's not Agata's (Witch's) hand, but Yours Truly's :D OMG. This is a crazy pic. Come to think of it, they all r craz-ey.

Summary:

The 3rd Halloween was great. Games, fun, scary stories. It was also A Day Of Halloween Sql. Me & Eve made some posters that were used as whiteboards and we were teaching such subjects as:

**~ Halloween Religion - Teacher Natalia; (& her teachings of the 10 Halloween Orders)

**~ Halloween History - Teacher Maria (aka Lachowicz or our former history teacher who was spitting on us all whilst explaining the topic :D ewwwww.)

**~ Halloween Art - Teacher Julia who made a spesh document and wrote words in such a shrift, that even she, herself, can't read what's written there :D A perfect addition to Halloween Mysteries ;)

**~ Halloween Biology - Teacher Eve who explained what a vampire's nail consisted of (she found metal there :D)

**~Halloween Music - Teacher Edyta (me) :D we sang Halloween Songs, the first Halloween Canon & some zombie ghostie songs that i have come up with :D

**~ Halloween P.E. - Teacher Agata :D and her drastic physical education measures :D

... It's a wonderful memory...

2003's BASH!

UP ^

Whaaaaa :D This is Halloween 2003 and our costumes get scarier (or we get scarier? LOL) :D Myself (with a flower in my hair) & Eve are Gipsies and we can tell everything ya'll wanna know (& trust me, u don't :P) Maria (in black) & Julia (all wrapped up in spiderrrrrrwebs) are Mortishes ;) and Agata is a WITCH. What a scary combination of ghouls.

UP ^

In the middle there is the mstarl of the show Maria aka Mortish dressed as Verka Serduchka, a russian comedian-singer :D And the two Gipsies are me & Eve. It was quite a show :D

UP ^

The SYMBOL Of our Halloweens: The legs game. People lay down and form a labirynth which a victime (this time me) has to go through. Scary, huh? Well my Halloween bruises scared me too :D But that didn't prevent us from playing :) I remember my friend Natalia screaming that because of this game they will throw her out of the modelling agency :D

Summary:

Good clean fun. And loads of dirty dancing. Unless I am mistaken it was during this party that we played truth or dare and I dared to eat an oranges leftouts :D I told everyone it was tasty & everyone started to eat 'em :D Phah. But it's nothing compared to Julia's task, during the 1st Halloween :D She had to pee in front of us all. She did it perfectly. *Thumbs up* Halloween has become a stable celebration.

2004's BASH!

UP ^

Kids got to know what a digital camera is: Maria's got one of those and has kindly brought it to make some memorable pics. Oh yeah, they were memorable. Some of them were even censored thats why I aint gonna show ya them :P thyhy. Ignore that.

This time Kasia is a Gipsy (the red cutie) Maria is Cleopatra, Agata(The Blondie) is a Queen Of Halloween, Julia is 'Chiuvak In black' :D (translation: dude in black, just a russian word made it sound funnier ;D~) & I'm a retro chic or whatever :D ( I am between the arms of Eve in a red sweater, in case you haven't recognised me)

UP ^

Did this gloomy pic scare the living shit outta you? Well, yeah, that's me. Stangely, I liked this pic just cuz it's dark and different from who I really am. A classical example (no, not of present perfect) of a Halloween pic :D

UP ^

There are people who have a talent to look okay when they are drunk. We have a talent to look drunk when we're okay :D

Summary:

This Halloween kicked ass! I loved it maybe cuz of my costume, I love the RETRO era. It remains my fave era in history. (Isn't that obvious?) and wearing things out from that era makes me feel right at home. I just think we all had loads of fun :)

2005's BASH!

UP ^

Say it! You wanna call the mental hospital, you can say it loudly & proudly. Ain't we cuteeeeee? Don't answer that. Anyway, it's me and my 3 best friends (mentally equal as you can see) Maria is the Spade Queen (hiding), Agata is a Gipsy, Julia is Mr Warner and I am a goth. It's ok, you can come out now, it's just a pic :D

UP ^

This just had to be posted! Julia, you made Marilyn Manson PROUD. I love the pumpkins behind her. This is just extra Halloweenish!

UP ^

Myself and the perfect man :D

Summary:

It was an awesome party. I made up a Tarrot Game which made some people say: "OH ME GAWD, what's goin' on there?' Hehe. We had loads of fun and told scary stories. Booya.

2006's (final) BASH!

UP ^

The Asian girls. Me being Indian & Julia being a Geisha. How exotic :D The main phrazes up to this hour, ME: 'Quit staring at my breasts' :D~ & 'I can't walk normally in these curtains' :D LOL

UP ^

Me being Indian :P It's just that those movies r sooo prettyyyyyyy *drooling* & the girls are so beautiful (some guys are too :P) so i just couldn't resist it :)

Halloween is a beautiful celebration when you can be someone you are not.

Hava Nagila.mp3 (Jewish Wedding Dance (yes we danced to that))

Bade Miyan Chote Miyan.mp3 (I was torturing my sweeties with Belly Dancing)

Tarkan - Buge Gee.mp3 (Remix) :D

Tarkan - Sidikim.mp3 (Maria was torturing us very kindly, in fact, unlike me :D)

Ingrid - In Tango.mp3 (Frrrrrrench powered by Kasia ;))

Chinese Music - Pearlriver Sunset.mp3 (a Geisha pose dance by sweet Julia)

UP^

Agata had to be Jewish :D Who will recognize my blondie now?

UP ^

Cute Kasia. The wickedly HOT Maria. Btw, I felt the need to name her Clementine. Don't ask. Period.

UP ^

Myself & my new hairdoo. Wonder if mum sees it & what will she say :D Anywho, Agata was right: everyone tried her wig on :D

Summary:

IT WAS LOADS OF FUN! I loved it! I am sooo much thankful to my fave girls for making this party a tradition. I love it & it means sooo much to me :) LUV YA GIRLS!

Have a spooky Halloween!

Call Me A Whore Now

I just got lost
Thought I didn't need anything but you
Threw everything away to hell, to burn
Well, I was wrong
Never felt pain this way
When I found a place for me
Where lost souls work
Because they are forever disappointed in life, in truth
Because of them
Because of men
There, I feel free to do my pleasures
Why
I'm not bad, that's my job
I earn to live, isn't that what's life about?
Manly pleasures are ok
When females sit at home and pray
It just stopped
Because of them
Because of men
Maybe I can be killed any moment now
Maybe I will be laughed at
Hell knows
It's none of your business
You left me alone,
Made me through myself away
And you are now
... Gone...
Away.
Be that way
Because of you
Because it's true
Go ahead, call me a whore now.

2004
I was 14 when i wrote this. I was wondering how it was for them. For members of the Risk Group. For people who we don't dare to look at. They are so lost. Some know about it some don't. I felt fear. Yup, I was a kid when I wrote this. Still am.

Dialogues (4 Different Ones)

Today is my NAME DAY! i wish health & loads of love to all Edytas around the world!

In a room full of people you may feel emptiness. And you can hear them speak. And when you are alone, you listen. You listen to dialogues and you wish you were deaf. When you are not alone, you speak to you listener and look at people who wish they were deaf. No one wants to be loaded.

1
***
'Then he somehow left.'
'Did you try to bring him back?'
'No, not really. I don't think I need him anymore.'
'Did you cry?'
'Yes I have. A few days. It didn't mean much though.'
'You barely had a connection between you two.'
'Yeah... I think you're right. Now I realize that.'
'Do you ever think of him?'
'You mean nowadays?'
'Yeah.'
'Hardly ever.'
'It was a banal situation.'
'Yes it was. I kept praying but nothing happened. I hoped... He never cared.'
'You chose a different path?'
'I didn't choose anything. I wanted to stay.'
'Why won't you come back?'
'Principles.'
'I have never known you had an inexorable personality.'
'Neither have I. I am not going to change for him. Not anymore. He didn't love me. So neither did I. I regret it all.'
'Regret?'
'Yeah. All that remorse causes me pain. But I am used to it. I need to make a change again.'
'For yourself?'
'Yeah. For me.'
'Why did you trust him?'
'I didn't have anyone.'
'Do you have someone now?'
'No. Guess not.'
'Does it make you feel lonely?'
'No. More like abandoned.'
'So you will come back to him?'
'He hates me now after all I did.'
'What did you do?'
'I was thinking.'
'You can't destroy your sub consciousness.'
'Rules say I have to.'
'Then... Who do you have to turn to?'
'No one.'
'So you'll die soon?'
'I am already dead if he doesn't believe in me.'
'Do you feel pain?'
'Yeah.'
'Dead don't feel.'
'I guess you're right. He never existed.'
'No. He does. You're just alive.'
***
A nun was talking to a close friend about God.

2
***
'You're so beautiful...'
'So are you...'
'No, I've never been. I am talking to angels. I see you're white dresses. So innocent. So pure. God sent me angels. Thank you.'
'You'll feel as you're slightly flying away.'
'Do I have wings?'
'Just relax and drift away. Dream...'
'Am I an angel too? I have read somewhere that if angels are talking to you, mean that you are an angel too because no one understands angels except their selves.'
'People write a lot of things. That doesn't make them true.'
'So I am not an angel?'
'Not yet.'
'Oh? I made mistakes, yeah, I know. I am sure. But I was only human. Imperfect. Can you ask God to forgive me?'
'We surely will.'
'Will I be able to join you?'
'I am afraid not.'
'Why? I won't be an angel? I sinned that much?'
'You can not join us.'
'I know. I understand. I've never been good enough. Will I got to hell?'
'I am sure you shan't.'
'You promise?'
'I promise.'
'So who will I become?'
'It depends on you.'
'So I have a chance to become an angel?'
'The chances are all yours.'
'You just made me the happiest living person. Ever.'
'Living... Person? Not for long.'
'Really? I will be an angel soon? Why aren't you smiling? It's a joyful occasion.'
'I am smiling.'
'Good! Because I will smile with angels soon.'
'Yeah. I guess you will.'
'Will you smile with me?'
'Yeah, in some time we all will.'
'I'll wait for you. You're so white... The angel of purity... Don't... hide... your... wings...'
***
'Doctor? She died.'
'She thought I was an angel.'
'To your friends you are.'
'As you, nurse.'

3
***
'Damn it to hell. He was strange.'
'Yeah. Almost like you.'
'Go ahead, laugh at me and him.'
'I am not. He had his weaknesses. Like that tree. He wouldn't let you chop it down.'
'You got to admit, though, it's a pretty tree. He loved nature.'
'I love that tree too.'
'He used to sit under it. Almost smiling to himself.'
'I liked him.'
'I loved him.'
'No one else liked him except us.'
'People hate everything they don't know. He was strange to them. People need everything elaborate.'
'I like him being different. He was always silent.'
'I never heard him either.'
'He had a soul. You know? Sometimes people are soulless. They speak much and do nothing. He never said anything but he did a lot of things for us. He was a part of us.'
'He still is a part of me.'
'Of me too.'
'I liked talking to him. He'd always listen. Even if it was bullshit. He'd always have time for me.'
'Memories of him haunt me.'
'I can't live in memories either. I remember everyday with him.'
'Yeah. He seemed to be always with us. He was beautiful.'
'Remember that time when he helped our neighbor, Susan? She would have been dead now. Never ever he wanted a reward.'
'Did he go to heaven?'
'I think he did. He loved and was loved. Could you ask for more?'
'He was perfect.'
'I miss him.'
'I miss him too.'
'You want to continue life?'
'Sure.'
'What will we do now? We lost him.'
'Memories hurt.'
'Memories don't change but people do.'
'Let's start changing.'
'How?'
'By chopping down that tree.'
'I can't.'
'Neither can I.'
'I'll go call the neighbors for help.'
'Yeah, you do that. I will burn his photographs.'
***
They loved their Saint Bernard although their surrounders were afraid of him. He was a good dog.

4
***
'It's passion that we both need.'
'Speak for yourself.'
'You don't love me?'
'I love you! But it's what I tried to show you for ages! Passion, passion, PASSION! And only now, after all these years, you've understood it.'
'Why didn't you tell it to me before?'
'I wanted you to realize it for yourself.'
'Sometimes you're so demanding.'
'Sometimes. We all are.'
'Do you love me?'
'I've never stopped loving you.'
'Will you forgive me?'
'Forgive you what?'
'This mess that we've created by keeping our love a secret.'
'It's my fault too.'
'Can I embrace you?'
'We both know you don't have to ask me that.'
'There are too many things that only we both know, and no one else.'
'Am I passionate enough now?'
'Yeah, I guess so.'
'You too. You've always been.'
'Maybe I should have told you. Anyway, here, have a glass of wine. It's good for you soul.'
'It's good to set the mood.'
'Yeah, that too.'
'Would you fight for love?'
'No.'
'Thought so.'
'Why did you think so?'
'Because you weren't passionate enough.'
'Would you fight for love?'
'No.'
'Why not?'
'I never put too much effort into making you passionate.'
'Which means?'
'You're worthless.'
'You don't love me.'
'Glad you guessed.'
'So, I was just a game?'
'No, I just imagined you. And now I want you to disappear.'
'Will you need me again?'
'No.'
'Can you give me hope?'
'Here, have all the hope in the world. Drink it like a pill, drink it aristocratically with wine.'
'Thank you.'
'Now go.'
***
An author is talking to a friend about his new book.
'Have you read my book?'
'About imagination and metaphysics?'
'Yeah, that one.'
'No, not yet.'
'Don't. It's shit anyway.'

Greyed To Death (Old Hollywood) |<3|

Greyed to death
Their black eyes look; though they are greyly blue
And grey blondes are symbols
The glimmer on photographs
Is unseen to the human eye
Yet noticed by our mind.
They're smiling with
Their grey white teeth
And show their best friends:
The grey diamonds and
The grey 24 carat gold.
Our blushing cheeks were kissed
By their grey bloody red lips
Blown from a grey white hand
Covered with grey red nail polish

We're still platforms.
They're still glamour.

Greyed to death
Only the Bible has its
Initial color-
Black.
Only there murder is greyly black-
Like it has to be.
We hear their grey sweet voices
We dwell on their grey pain
We keep them colorfully grey
In our greyed to death
Frames.

On screen, off screen - they are
Greyly colorful
Just like your mind noticed them.
You still admire them until now
As they stopped their grey breath
After all these years they're still alive
Although they're greyed to death.

Pictures: The Beautiful Marlene Dietrich

Puss is in Da House------!!

Thank You so much PJ for tagging me :)
Things about my Puss. She's sooooo cuteeeeeee & I love her. Wanna find out why?

1. My mum says Puss is just like me: doesnt eat fish, always complains, doesnt like when someone touches her when she's not in the mood etc. Well. Can't argue with those things.
2. Last summer when I arrived in Moscow (& was hell tired) we closed the door & went to sleep. However, it appeared that Pussycat wanted to get out of the room but she couldnt open the door. So she looked at me & my mum & said : 'Mama'. Animals talking?
3. Puss is a sweeeeeeeeet alarm clock towards me but a drastic one towards my mum :) Lemme explain: She scratched my mum & she was touching my hand by her palm sooo softly & saying: 'Miau'. I melted on that scene.

4. She is soooooooooo fucking talkative. When my mum calls me from Moscow i can't get with whom am i talking? With my mum or with Puss? Hear her miaus the whole time :) Also, abt her being talkative: the windiw in summer is always open & loads of flies & insects fly through it & Queen Pussey tries to catch 'em. But she fails, sadly. & she comes to my mum & complains about her deep sadness & apathy of uncought flies. (here's the moment where everyone cries)
5. Puss likes to play Matrix. Yup. Once, i was listening to my mp3 player & suddenly saw Pussey running through out the whole room, jumping on the bed & jumping off it in SLOW MOTION. Go get those men in black glasses, Puss.

Now, I need to tag some victimes*cough*people who werent tagged yet.
Samness!
Tsar (bro)
Agata
Julia
Yaney (were you tagged?)
Of course, there is no pressure. Absolutely. :)
I shall share some new poems asap :)

Abandoned**~

Porzucona
O Natchnienie! Muzo mlodosci!
Pozwol mi dotknac Cie
Jako dotknelas kiedys mnie
Prosze wroc!
Ale nie zyjesz juz dla mnie!
Odeszlas...
Byc moze tylko slowa sa moim krzykiem,
Ciche i glosne w ten sam czas
Czy ktokolwiek slyszy, ze wolam? Nie.
O! Jak zimno byc nieslyszana dusza.
Byc moze sciany uslysza moje slowa?
Siedze jedna w tych bialych lzach i krzycze
By mnie uslyszeli
Nie slysza.
Spocona i cicha
Martwa i wroga
I calkiem jedna
Porzucona przez
Ludzi
Mysli
Lzy
Uczucia
Zmysly
Rozum
Rozum
Rozum
Wiare
Stalo sie.



***
Abandoned
Inspiration! The Goddess Of Youth!
Let me touch you
How you once touched me
Please, you have to come back!
But you died for me
You left.
May haps my words are my scream
Whispers and shouts at the same time
Does anyone hear my cry for help? No.
It's so cold to be an unheard soul.
Perhaps walls could hear me out?
Sitting here, devoured by white tears
I shout.
For them to hear me out
They don't hear me.
Sweaty and silent
Dead and deadly
Alone
Abandoned by
People
Thoughts
Tears
Feelings
Senses
Mind
Mind
Mind
Faith
It happened.

2004