...Out Of The Slammer...

***
Now don't think that I have no feelings or that I am a mad serial killer. Nothing like that. Well, yeah I am in prison. But as every prisoner, I can say that I am not guilty. Of course, you won't believe and, as I must say, you'd probably be right.
That goddamn newspaper. I'd kill the journalist. But hey, I'm here, sitting among the people who hate everything, including themselves. Yeah, this vibe kind of affected me through out the years. I've become dull, numb, and emotionless. Not that I am sorry for myself, absolutely not. I still have dreams, because I still have hopes. And everything will be just plain great after tomorrow's trial. Everything or nothing. Freedom or slavery. I'm quite positive that everything is going to come out perfect. I will be free at last. It's been 10 years now! Yeah...10 years, now that's much, isn't it? But I'm sure they were worth waiting because at long last I will see Karen. I wonder if she has changed much. I remember her being so young, so beautiful. And then that whole thing happened.
I swear to God, I didn't do anything that day. I didn't kill that woman. Lock me up and throw away the keys, and leave me bleeding for the rats to devour if that ain't true. I was walking when I suddenly saw that woman, screaming for help. Then I saw those two guys, wanting to rape her, apparently. She spotted me and shouted for me to come. The bastards also spotted me. One of them was holding a knife which was touching her bare white skin. Well, I guess he didn't know his own strength because he swung the knife to frighten her. Instead, he killed her. (I don't remember that much blood since my biology classes in University. Yep, I was pretty sure, that I would become a doctor at that time.) And now this happens... of course the guys saw that the woman was dying and ran away. I ran towards her; I wanted to help. I took the knife and put it aside. I tore my t-shirt (with the Chicago Bulls logo, which I happen to be a big fan of until now) and wanted to block the bloody fountain. I know, I know... so that was a bad idea. But what would you do in a situation like this? Then I saw it was no use. Some buddy phoned the police and of course, undoubtedly, surely, undeniably, the police decided that I was the person behind Audrey Cormison's (how it soon appeared) death. Who was Audrey? She was a beautiful woman, not married, living with her parents and working in the library. She was a very smart person. I should know... we were in the same school but she was a year or two older than me.
Anyway, back to our situation. There were lots of screams, when the police wanted to book me. I mean, I only wanted to help and here is what you get for being a good citizen. A lot of reporters caught this situation and put it into the yellow pages. Hell, yeah, it was a cover story. I was a star. Not that I wanted to be one.
And now I am here. After 10 years they decide that they have mercy. I hate mercy. Seriously. I hate mercy. Mercy is something like being enslaved. And when you are a slave, you depend on someone. I hate being a pendant. I understand it if God blesses you with His mercy. And here, what do you get? Mercy from people that you even don't know or don't intend to know. What the hell? Are they God to share their mercy with me? So God-wannabes shared their mercy with me. How sweet. It took them 10 years to realize that I was innocent. Jerks.
Anyway, fine, be that way. At least I'll get to see Karen. She wrote me so many letters. And I am so extremely excited to finally see her. I know, she waited for me and now voila, this is me, Mr. Out-of-the-prison-I-am-Innocent. But Karen loves me the way I am and that's why I love her, she's herself. Everything will be ok, hunky-dory, peachy-keen, fine and dandy after tomorrow.
***
I woke up next day, knowing that I'll be free. A swell feeling, indeed.
'Jackub?'
'Yeah', I said
'There's a letter for ya from your sweetie. Ya'll be all together after ya'll get outta this joint.' Kevin smiled at me. Kevin's a nice guy. He came to work here all the way from Texas. Most of the guys made fun of his accent. But I just didn't have the heart to make fun of that nice guy. Through him I could get almost anything I wanted: all those cigarettes that I smoked, mineral water, toothpaste and of course the letters from Karen.
'Sure thing, Kevin. You won't even recall seeing me after 5 days.'
'Gots to hope so, buddy.'
'You'll see,' and I was right.
'You gots to be damn lucky to get out of the slammer'
'I am.'
Tell you what. It was very nice of Kevin to talk to me and all but at that very moment I was concentrating on the letter and I couldn't understand anything with him saying stuff that really didn't matter to me. No, not then.
I opened the letter, read it attentively. I read it once, twice, three times and it still wasn't enough. Karen, Karen, Karen. My sunshine. I put the letter in my pocket, combed my hair and went off. It was time for the trial.
'Good luck now, Jackub. And I hope not to see your ass here again', Kevin smiled at me. I stayed silent. I knew he wouldn't see me again... Ever.
***
'Jackub Govemarson'
'Me', I spoke unsurely.
'Do you affirm that on the night of February the 6th, in Massachusetts, you were just the witness of the crime and not, in any case, the murderer?'
'No'
'Pardon?'
'I am the man who killed Audrey Cormison.'
'Do you realize what are you doing, Jackub?'
'I do, Your Honor.'
'Very well, Jackub. I sentence you to 20 years of...'
'I object, Your Honor, we need to have a discussion.'
'Lawyer Barntley, we do not have anything to discuss.'
'Please, Your Honor.'
'Very well. The trial is off to make its final decision'
After approximately 5 minutes the judge came back with his final verdict.
'Jackub Govemarson. You've been claimed guilty for the murder of Ms. Audrey Cormison. The court agreed that you'll be executed. Today, Mr.Govemarson.'
I looked at the judge. I think I had a question mark painted on my face or something, because the judge answered me at once.
'The chair, Jackub.'
I nodded.
'May this be a lesson to you. Mr. Jackub Govemarson. And to all that...' The judge didn't finish.
I think he knew the truth. Besides the two bastards who killed Audrey were sitting right in front of him, shocked and sitting still as rocks. They didn't expect me to say that, nor did the judge. Nor did I. I had my reasons.
'Take him away.' The judge tried to be determined and cold. But he was a bad actor. You can't buy that kind of talent, I'm afraid.
***
They leaded me into the blue room. There it was, the chair. Such a beau. They made me sit in it and so I did, of course. I felt how those cold wires sank into my skin and unleashed blood steams. I looked down at my legs. My clothes were torn but that didn't matter now, did it? They put a mask on me, asked me if I had any requests, I said none. In front of me there were about 30 chairs, filled with people watching me as I sat here, dying. Their eyes were full of hate. Especially Brenda's. Brenda was Audrey's best friend. I could imagine how she hated me right now.
The priest came just by then. He prayed for me. I joined him. I must say, throughout my whole life, I was religious. My mum taught me that God is the source of all good things in life. And I believed her.
I heard a smash. Then I felt how cold electrons went into my body causing me to open my eyes widely and look up. My fingers went up, as if they wanted to reach God, something I could never do. I opened my mouth, shaking. I wanted to close my eyes, but something was blocking my will.
I heard another smash. Now I felt my muscles extremely temped. And something hot was in me. It was unbearably hot. I was on a frying pan, literally. I started to hurt me very much. My mouth was hurting me because it was opened and I couldn't close it. And the edges of my mouth were bleeding; I basically tore my own mouth apart. No more kissing in this life, I thought.
The third smash. My body rises. It all goes blank. Nothing happened.
***
It was time to get rid of my body. Two guys came up to do it.
'Hey George, he has something in his pocket.'
'What's that?'
'A letter.'

Dear Jackub,

I know that You will be free soon. I was writing you so many times...Well, there is something I've never told You. I got married 6 years ago and I work as a journalist in the local newspaper. Do you remember? That was my wish! I hope Your life will settle. By the way, Your mother died two weeks ago. Don't worry, she had a memorable funeral. You can live with Andrew and me for the first month and then You should find a place of Your own! We all are waiting for You!
Karen

Karen, Karen, Karen. My sunshine.