Saturday, December 29, 2007

On The 29th. [updated]

Hey people!
I am born. AGAIN.
(I know, right?)

On the 29th of December some of this happened:
1940 - World War II: In The Second Great Fire of London, the Luftwaffe firebombs City of London, killing almost 200 civilians.
2001 - A massive fire in the historic district of downtown Lima, Peru kills at least 274 people.

Let's observe all the days that I've had the pleasure to be born.
Lil me was born at 3.33 PM. That's right. I am only half of the devil. The other half is obviously Lilith :)
When I became 12, I:

In 2000 I had a pleasant quiet b-day with my friend Maria & Victoria.
When I became 16, I:

Was wearing high heels that were hand-made in Italy & cost about 1000 Euro. Initially, my mum got them from my aunt & my aunt got them from her best friend, who received them from her husband, who got it as a present from his relative in Moscow to give for his wife, becoz the rightful owner (a rich lady) bought them for herself but what she didnt notice was that the size of the shoes was 35, not 39 as she had. HAH, in ur face, bigfoot!
When I became 17, I:

Got to wear stockings for the first time & got a Hello Kitty Black Metal Version (or so I call it), sang in the bathtube, pretending the shower was a microphone. Got a beautiful ring from grandma! (awwww)
When I became 18, I:

Had my own harem. Watched porn. Got another beautiful ring from grandma. My room was called the temple of a goddess. Got a kamasutra. Got the most precious gift from my boyfriend. Got a Swarovski necklace from dad. Danced to arabic songs. Had a huge blast. Seriously man.
When I became 19, I:

I celebrated in 2 countries: Lithuania & The United Kingdom. Any excuse to dress up will do. Got a huge postcard. A huge retro picture from friends. Flowers. Hello Kitty Necklace. Fluffy handcuffs :D other Retro stuff. I was told i was 18 eternally :)
Sometimes I wonder, how will people tell other people about me:"You know, I had a friend called Edyta & she was..." I just wonder what was I.
Pink Floyd - Shine On You Crazy Diamond (Pt 1 & 2)

Sunday, August 19, 2007

{missing you}

There's too much air
And the bed is too wide
It's even comfortable
There's a lot of food
And extra time for church
And a prayer or two
I don't blow dry my hair
And I sleep too much
There's no sudden soft touch
To wake me up
And no embrace to escape from

I answer my phone calls
I even call some back
I don't close the bathroom door
Nobody's going to watch
And my bras are on the floor
I've never picked them up
You did.
Some material things are left:
Losses, notes, laundry, theft.
If rain is just a weather
Not even a mood
That's when I know
I'm missing you
But you said it was ok
That we could choose another date
To meet.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

...And about Photography

Have u noticed?

Almost everyne is sooo cool, has a digital camera. Except for mw.
Earlier ppl would make 3 or 4 pics to remember a b-day party or a vacation by a simple camera. & they would be happy. & they were all so excited & they loved themselves on pics. even if they looked like shit.
I look like shit on this pic. Delete it.
Plz, can u make a pic for us. Thank you. Wait. Dont go away. We will see if it suits us.
Oh, can u RAR it or ZIP it. It takes waaay too long for me to wait to see 'em.
We can see all of my spots on the pix!
Nah. I don't like myself here. Let's use photoshop.
I want to cure myself cuz i have been affected by all of this mass picture perfect ideal.
But i have noticed that u can make really cool artsy pics without actually making a nose smaller, eyes bigger, boobs bigger - whatever!
I am so thankful to Yorkie, who doesnt really care abt looks on pics. (unlike u, BITCH - yes i heard that) He is just happy cuz there is a possibility to make a pic in general. & that's so sweet. U always can make a funky edge to a pic, by making it black & white or serpia, or dark, or faded. But never change who u really are. These were my trials. Let's have a look.

PS. Tak, Hart, to update na odczepnego.
PPS.Welcome Eric313! HUGS!

Sunday, August 05, 2007

We ARE We. & We're different. We <3 it.

Guess what?

I've been awarded yet again.
*~By Crashie (oooh such a sweetheart)
"Cuz she is such a lil’ sunshine & so incredibly talented that she blows my mind. Just thinking about her makes me grin. And who could not just adore her avatar!"
*~ By Curryegg (she's adowable)
"She's such a cute and lovely blogger. Everyone loves her. So, this is why you deserve this award."
Thanx so much, girls. You both are awesome.

But you know what?
I am Vain. You heard me. VAIN. That's why i decided to make my own award to thank all of you, who read my boringass notes & left comments & was there for me. The rules of my award are sooo simple.
*~Grab this award, upload it & enjoy it.
*~When u feel the time has come; make up ur own award & give it to the ppl u adore :) it can be in a year, it can be tomorrow. It can never be. U decide. Here it is:

IMPORTANT: U R A receiver of my award, if ur name is:
*~ Agata - she is my ultimate best friend. & she is awesome. & when i hear her say: "Edyta, you are an evil/cruel woman" I tend to think it was a compliment.
*~ Berna - she is sooo creative & philosophical. A deep thinker. I love her for that.
*~ Caz - even when she's grumpy, i am 100 % sure she's funny. She always makes me laugh.
*~ Crashie - she is a sweeeeeeeetie. Definitely. I bet she can make salt taste sweet.
*~ Curryegg - i LOVE her pics. She always has a surprise for us installed. We all love to see pics of places we havent been before & decide on visiting them ;)
*~ Dan - I think "Dan" is the other word for "caring & energetic".
*~ Drama Div@ - I love her mood button :) & she is full of positive energy that makes her readers smile. I should KNOW!
*~ Gled - for the honesty. This guys is frank & candid. Doesn't hide anything. Always has an opinion to share :)
*~ Hart - she is so sexily feminime. A talented writer & her drawings are amazing :) the perfect chatpal for those cold evenings when ur hand freezes while clicking the mouse.
*~ Jay - I am sooo sure if i made a "SAVE TEQUILA" campaign, he'd be the first to join it. Haha. This guy always makes everyone smile. I said ALWAYS.
*~ Joshua - i admire his writings & his sense of humor. & POEMS! One of the most creative ppl on the blogosphere.
*~ Julia - mah soulmate. Mah gangsta. Mah P.I.M.P. Mah homie. Good girl gone bad :D
*~ Kao - let's go & face it: his writing is sexy. He very very creative & friendly :) what a sweet combination of both words.
*~ Ravi - I'm his fan. Incredibly talented, honest & kind-hearted. These people are rare nowadays. I'm lucky to have a chatmate like that.
*~ String - the person to whom I am for some reason connected! Maybe because i adore her way of thinking & her pics? Most probably.
*~ Xian - the best bro in the whole world! I think i wouldn't bear living with him cuz i'd choke up with laughter! He's da sunshine after da rain! (& no, u r not getting those adies)

I hope you all like the award becoz u all r original. ThanX GAWD i decided to write a blog back in the day :)
PS. OMG! I already got my own award back @ me. Haha. The Blogosphere is a crazy thing :D

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Hints Of Erotica [2007]

There are sometimes sheets
When it's colder, of course
Then there is a silhouette
That is seen with closed eyes
And a taste of sweat
Hints of erotica

Then there is a voice
So helpless
And vivid visions
Of passion, lust and indulgence
One is a disease
Another - the antidote
Total interference
Predictable roads
And a hint of erotica

The journey is to lessen the distance
Between the two
By smiles, gestures
And secrets
Between me and you
With a hint of erotica

You see,
Sometimes we merge
It's faster and safer:
No time to embarrass
one's a giver, the other's a taker
no time for erotica.

You see,
It takes courage
to allow the breaking
of boundaries between us
It also takes talent
of persuasion
with slight hints of erotica

the journey isn't over
if there is no distance
because the two roads converge.
Aims, visions, goals
inevitable thoughts
In a word:
pleasure is for those who
will forever be caught
In chains of sensual erotica.
Art by Luis Royo

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Foohmal-Impooohtant-Paaahties :D~


Yes, I am aware that I suck. Haha. Well, I havent been around cuz of that PROM, the preparations, all those documents for further plans, blah blah. It's been exciting, it's been boring. As usual. Well, this is what I wanna do today. Share some pics.
Wait, wait. This is not the prom. This is pre-prom. We call it the 100 days party. It was held in winter & it meant that we had 100 days till we finish our schooling. Find me, find me? I'm the middle one. Yup, the red lip one. YES. I AM old-fashioned. :D

This is myself & a good friend of mine - Zbynia! Ya know, when we were little, we were all weird-o kids. Zbynia, when not understood, was saying: 'You don't understand me just cuz I am intelectually higher than all of you.' We couldnt NOT agree :) We ALL r Zbynia's fans. He dances DIVINE. We r always waiting till Zbynia start to moonwalk.

Welcome to our prom. This is myself & my fave talented photographer - Eric. I just got to know him may haps 2 years ago. DARN! He's awesome! Most of the time our opinions merge or r the same in general :D & I can't frget the meaningfyl badge that he got us in Poland: "I put this badge on when I have everyone IN MY ASS" Woohooo!

This is us with our history teacher. He's surname is the same as mine. & not Agata, I am NOT his daughter (finger) :D but he was an awesome person. Yes, at his lessons mostly i would fall asleep. Just awaken now & then by Agata. Haha. I drew loadsa things during his lessons. Anywho, during history i mostly did everything except for history itself :D ewww! Naughty :D
This Maria, Zbynia & myself. This is inside the RESTAURANT, Hah. Some ppl were poisoned becoz of the RESTAURANT'S most delish meals. Myself & Agata were fine. Becoz our digestive system can beat everything. Take that, BITCH! :D

Yes, this is how i looked in general. Observe. HAHA. Ewww, pervs. :D
This is me & my class teacher. This was a person who always told me I looked great. Haha. Even if i looked like shit. She never even taught me. Maybe that's why I kinda liked her. Becoz i knew her as a person, not a teacher :D
& the standart: photo with Zbynia :D Zbynia rox :D
So these were the fohhrmal-impooohtant-paahhhties :D This is what I've been up to whilst i was away :D Hope you forgive me for rudely vanishing. I'll be back soon with a fresh new poem or story :)

Monday, June 18, 2007

}~~The Circus~~{

'Ladies and gentlemen! Everyone! Step right up and see the show! You shall never regret! The most beautiful exotic dancers! The funniest elephant of all time! The dancing wolves! The most hilarious clowns you will ever see!'
'And don't forget the mimes! They are here all the time!' a clown interrupted.
'That's right! This is our youngest clown, Tickles! And this is our French mime Lucy! Are you in a box, Lucy?' the Host continued.
The girl wearing black and white raised her hands showing people there were walls around her. She made a desperate face as if she wanted to escape but she couldn't. And the musicians started to play louder. The music was bizarre and almost painful. Children, women, men were entering the circus.
'See Mickey the scariest lion! Leonidia, the woman who can perform the most dangerous trapeze act of all time! Step right up, my friends! The experience we offer isn't something that you shall forget!'
Leonidia. From her little dressing room in that circus truck she heard him curse her. She heard him wishing she'd die. Now he says that she can do the most dangerous trapeze act of all time. Mister Host, sir. She knew it was her last act. The circus has gone bankrupt since a new movie theatre opened nearby. No one wants to see the same old acts over and over again. Her eyes were so teary. One by one they were falling down her cheeks.
Smile, damn it. This is what I chose.
So she put another layer of make-up to cover that spoiled one. Spoiled by tears. Leonidia kept smiling to her self. She did it while performing, before the performance. But not after. After the performance she'd wash her mask off and become Patricia. It was her real name. She was Patricia only once a day and only to herself. All the rest knew her as Leonidia. The trapeze artist.
What's next? The circus was my home.
She put on her diamond-like necklace that always glittered in the lights as she was performing. She looked at her reflection in the mirror.
Should I become a maid or something. Leonidia the maid.
She smiled to herself ironically and looked left. It was almost time.
I've always been alone. Maybe I should find a man that I could marry. Then again, would I ever find such a man? I'd most likely end up in the streets. And I don't like family life. I am just traveler. Maybe I should join the Gypsies? They live nearby anyway. Hah. I;d end up with 10 children and HIV. Telling some naive girls the future: Aiii seeee eevill things awaiting you in yourrr futurrree, dearrry. BEWARRE of ze Gypsiee currrse! I crack myself up!
She laughed out.
'Leonidia! 3 minutes!' said Tickles the clown
'Yes, I am ready Tickles.'
That clown sure doesn't sound like a clown anymore.
'We're throwing an after party. We've got all the rum you can drink.'
'Thanks, Tickles. See you after the show.'
'I love you, Leonidia.'
Naive twit.
'We're circus people. We are family. But we don't love.' She said, putting a white, 15 meter scarf around herself. It's a part of her act.

I always hate my life while I put this around me.
'Shall I help you, Patricia?'
'You shall go, John.'
He left. She told him off once again. This talk paradoxically gave her energy to go through her act. See the Host and even smile at him.
'How I hate him' she said through her teeth, smiling. Always smiling. A clown is always laughed at not realizing why. That's why he is funny. The artists are always smiling, realizing that everyone is looking at them. That's why they are exotic and admirable but not in any way funny. Girls watching dancers and acrobats are inspired by them. No girl has ever wanted to become a clown. Has anyone ever seen female clowns? Rarely.
The last second before the act: always smile to yourself in the mirror .Even if you are betrayed. Hated. And your life is miserable. Always smile. Leonidia shall leave the stage smiling as she always has been.
She left her dressing room, struggling to walk in that scarf. She saw the exotic dancer after her act. She was a girl from India. A former prostitute. She was holding her mouthpiece and crying. The Host got her good.
'He hit you again?' Leonidia asked and the girl nodded.
Patricia breathed in for a second and took the girl’s mouthpiece. She smoked only in situations when she wanted to look cool but was scared to death.
This means he will beat up good after the show.
'I am happy it's his last chance to steal our money. This is our last show. Tickles is offering rum to everyone tonight. Be a pirate!' Leonidia told the girl.
The girl smiled and went towards the clown's dressing room.
'Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the most beautiful trapeze artist of all time, Leonidia!'
The crowd cheered, clapped, whistled, screamed. She started to feel the vibe. The entered gracefully, smiling as she always did.
I hope you die!
'What is your today's act, Leonidia? Isn't she gorgeous, gentlemen?'
Ain't you a bastard.
The crowd applauded.
'Thank you, thank you', Leonidia started when the crowd calmed down, 'I'd like to shock you with this new trick of mine!'
He looked at her with his evil grin. He didn't expect to hear that from her.
'Show us! Show us! Show us!' the Host screamed and the crowd repeated after him.
Leonidia smiled and started her act.
The lights, the music – everything now made her high. She was swaying, jumping, turning on those huge swings. Oh yes, it was dangerous.
'Now let me twine!' she screamed.
Her legs were in the air, she was holding herself on her own shoulders.
It hurts. It hurts. It hurts.
The crowd stood up, almost jumped with joy when they saw her doing that. Then she stood up on her feet again, unleashing her scarf, throwing it to another acrobat who tied it to a column. Her life was in his hands. But she just smiled at him. It was all she could do.
Please not death. Please not death. Please not death.
She jumped off the swings and started whirling around the scarf. The lights made her look like a human tornado. She made different postured while she was turning around and around, and around...

Maybe I should just let go.
The music became louder. Now the chorus joined in.
An acrobat died while doing a stunt no one has seen before.
She started whirling faster.
The crowd cried and they all went to her funeral. Why not.
She was upside-down now and began whirling in another direction.
The host of that tragic show got drunk and died because of overdose of absinth. Sounds great. I don't have anything left in life, so why not end it on stage just like it has begun?
The Host stood there motionlessly because he didn't expect her to do that.
Time to let go.
She let go of her scarf and flew down.
Everything has come to an end.
I don't want anything.
I hope we both meet in hell host.
You will vomit and scrub what's left of my corpse out from the ground.


She had millions of thoughts while she was going down. But this blink before her eyes, the thought of being free, pushed death away from her.
She landed on her feet. Stood up. Raised her hands. And did what she had always done. She smiled. Looked right and laughed! Looked right and grinned! It was her show.
The crowd went wild. They were all affected by her perfection. They were under her spell. She blew a kiss toward the Host. He was angry. Oh, indeed he was. He was ready to pulverize her. Today Leonidia liked it. She liked it a lot. Leonidia was still on stage but Patricia left. The phantom of Leonidia shall never leave the stage and never cease hearing the cheering of the audience. Her audience.
Patricia started walking. She was smiling at clowns, dancers, acrobats who were inviting her for rum. She walked pass them. And kept going. People in the streets looked at her strangely as she was still in her stage costume. She looked at the theatre that ran the circus out of business. And kept walking again.
Gypsies. We are all gypsies. Always heading somewhere, searching for something, we don't even know what. We join something and we are thrown away like old broken marionettes. Even if we leave, it's because we are old and broken, and of course not necessary. And I like being alone. It's just sometimes so cold.
She walked towards the gypsy mahala, as they call it, a place where Romanies live. The wind was blowing. It was a cold night.
She saw a beautiful Gypsy woman and smiled at her. It was the only thing she could do: smile. And leave her thoughts to herself.
'It's so cold and you are smiling!' the woman said.
'Is it?' she grinned. She was shaking.
Only a phantom of Leonidia was still on stage. And everyone kept seeing that phantom. The Host, the dancers, the acrobats. And she? She has never learnt to take her smiling mask off.
An old, broken, thrown away marionette also smiles.
And smiles...
And smiles...

Friday, June 15, 2007

.I'm a deep thinker. (no puns intended)

Hey there!
It's a joyous day indeed! As i have been nominated for an award today! Woah! I am soooo excited! Whatever for, you may ask. Well:

"Edyta. Blogging from Lithuania. I didn't even realize English was not her mother tongue. (I thought she was somewhere like Chicago.) She posts modern poetry and gleaming prose."

That's what Gledwood has nominated me for. I CAN NOW PROUDLY SAY: DOUBLE DEE IS A THINKING BLOGGER! (not)

Well! Judging by the rules I have to award 5 creative, not giving up on thinking people.*
(Please note, I am not awarding my FAVE blogs (becoz ALL R MY FAVES) but i decided to award my oldest buddies who haven't changed & stay original & unique as they really are.)

And the THINKERS ARE! (in no particular order)
1) He has "gray lenses for dark days". He has the V-files. He has pics of HOT guys. He has it all. Please welcome, Joshua.
2) He lives in a magical country. He has his own style of writing. He sees beauty in filths, sinners and love. His thoughts are unique. Ladies & gentlemen, Ravi.
3) He is considered as my brother (mentally I guess) He is energetic. Always knows how to cheer me up. Please welcome the eternally smiling, Xian.
4) She is a multi talented person. She is very unique. She is unfaithful to rats. She is a best friend any one can have. Ladies & gentlemen, Agata.
5) She is philosophical inside and out. She is able to do the most difficult task of them all: describe feelings meticulously. Please welcome, Berna.
Today is your day!
The rules of this tag are quite simple, just do as i did: nominate 5 people, link them in the post & share your love & respect to each other! However, there is no pressure, surely :)
A retrospection of yesterday:

Monday, June 04, 2007


Get out.
I don't want to know people
They just slip away
& then I suffer & I cry
But they don't know that, do they?
I hate to be connected
To people
They just disconnect
like a broken modem
& a chat friend
goes offline.

People hate to know you.
'Cuz they start to love you
You get. Sick. Diseased.
Someone asked u to?
You go offline
Just like a contact
In i seek you

I don't want to seek you
But you somehow find me
On the streets
In the bus
In the supermarket
You buy cigarettes
I buy morphine
Killing ourselves calmly
Is how we start to
fall in love.
Then we go offline
I haven't sought u
on time

In my youth I'd tell you
I don't smoke
You don't drink
Why not hang out together
for a glass of wine
& a ciggie
some cancer
& asthma
To be on time
Connection error
User went offline funeral, anyone?

Saturday, May 26, 2007


I decided to merge this video with this post, cuz some pix are repeated. Anyway, a friend of mine, Mahmoud, made me feel like a celebrity & made this here movie with my pics. Thank you kindly. Woohoo! I am NOT the queen. But i laughed my ass off thinking what if i was :D It was such a surpirse for me, I have never expect that to happen! DON'T YA JUST LOVE THE FISH?? Hope everyone is well.
The music is David Usher - Black Black Heart, in case your wonderin' ;)

Now, there will be no:
* flowers for teachers
* presents for teachers
* boringass lessons
* no fake smiles & wishes

* no wacky photosessions
* no pizzas on the floor in the cafeteria
* no English teacher saying that there is no word as "cafeteria"
* no lessons to skip :D
* no tests to cheat on.
* no ping pong? damn it, kill me!
NO DWELLING! We prefer partying.
Oops, WRONG PIC. (hehe)
Dance with Your REAL friends :)
PEE on your enemies. JUST like THAT. & receive pleasure from doing so. Even if kids are watching you. Just PEE & be proud :D
Open Your eyes to a whole new world. There are those people to whom i can gladly say i LOVE you :)
* the romantic ones
* the cutieee ones
* the classy ones
* the insanely SQUEEZABLE ONES!
Taoism is an amazing philosophy-religion. I credit Dan for explaining that everyone of us is a universe, the Tao. These people are my universe, they are my Tao. Without them i wouldn't be edyta-ing at all.
Alice Cooper

Thursday, April 05, 2007

A |Black| & |White| Holiday ;D + photos & video

At last I will make a post simply about myself and my life. I haven't written anything particular but i was doing over things: taking photos, having ideas for a movie. It's been a swell time, honestly. But it was quite contrasting: it was black & white.

This is me & a heart on my palm.
My friend Erick is an awesome photographer. I think that a perfect job for him would be working for Vogue or Elle. If he does, hope I will be worth his time. This is a person you feel comfortable working with, no matter who you are. And my grandmum ADORES him. LOL.
I decided to show everyone CLEO. I haven't been drawing for a long time but here she is. I drew her for Ahmed & she's his. Hope he doesn't mind me sharing her with everyone :P Do you, Yorkie? Squeeeeeeezes & smooches for Ya! (from me, of course :D)

Our silent movie. They have always been my cup of tea. Beware of LADY Agata!!
It's always good to look aside and to know that I am not alone. I do have friends. Very kind. There for me. Even if everything is black and white. They add colour to my life.
See what I mean?

"You don't have to actually walk to walk away. You just need to stand still and emotionlessly watch me go. Although I had left, YOU were the one to walk away from me."
This line is for Dan. You wanted something about walking. I somehow thought of this line when i was in the bathtub washing my hair :D Hope Laura & Lulu are doing great!


design by