Sunday, December 03, 2006

~**So Nice Of You To Come...(2005)

Winter has come and my fave month, December. That's why I decided to change into a blueish template, to feel the snow that we lack in Lithuania at the moment.
I have something that I have been keeping away from everyone till December :) It's a last year's story that NO ONE has read yet. I think it's a very romantic story and it's about Christmas & the contrast between summer & winter all in one. Hope you like it.
I've also changed some musical tunes. Feel free to rock whilst u read LOL :D & while I'm here, I'd like to send my warmest wishes to everyone who beared with me in time of my hiatus. I'll be a year older soon, this month, in fact. This scares me :) Lotsa love & warm wishes towards all of you!
Edyta (Double Dee, Beaver, Dragon, Edda, Dyta, u name it ;D)

I don't really remember us talking ever since. No, no, no... I didn't mean to harm you, I swear, it just happened. I don't really know why. It was so warm, that day. Me, sitting in my room, reading a book. A book on geography, I believe. And you, watching me from way up there. Man, I remember how I wanted to go to the Honolulu Islands. Maybe because it was Christmas, filled with snow and I wanted sun. Maybe because I so-desperately wanted to lose myself in paradise. Or maybe it was because just the other day I was listening to a CD in a shop, full of candles, relaxing music, bath salt of different fragrances. That kind of vibe.
I drifted in my dreams and somehow didn't hear you come in. But I had such a feeling when you came in and I didn't spot your entrance. I had a feeling like some higher power was smiling at me, while I was myself: not praying everyday, not covered in any masks, not going to church and not realizing the whole concept behind Christmas. No, I've never cared about those things. Then I saw your face. You smiled at me. I got shy for a moment, hey, I wasn't expecting anyone. And then you came. And I realized that although I hadn't been expecting anyone, you came in and made it me happy.
Shit... Means that I was expecting you after all... But unconsciously... Still, I was.
I smiled back at you.
'Hey ', I said
'Interrupted you?'
'Not at all.'

You sat down next to me. I felt that you touched me. But you didn't. You sat down next to me in approximately two centimeters. And you didn't touch me, I know it. Still I felt something on me.
'Damn, where did you hurt yourself?', you asked me
'Oh... Here... I don't know.'
So this is what I felt... your look. You were looking at my hands... Face...
And, yes, we say:' I've been touched by an angel.' Yeah right... An angel comes down and touches you... Tell me another... So maybe an angel looks at a person and then that very same person feels it and convinces himself and his surrounders that he, in fact, has been touched by an angel. Well, maybe not.
'What are you reading?' Your voice, it somehow changed.
'About the Honolulu Islands.'
'Cool. When are you planning to go there?'
'Would you take me?'
'Only if you're good.'
'Ok. Is that a 'no'?'
'Nope. That's an 'anytime'.'
You know guys, when two people are talking; they sometimes have those so-called blank moments. Have you ever wondered what the other person is thinking about? I have. There can be two things. A person can wonder if he should leave or not. Or he's thinking what the other one is thinking. Well... If he is thinking about leaving, means he might also think about what he's going to do after his disappearance, he can manage his plans for the day or even for a whole lifetime.
'Why are you silent? What are you thinking about?' (Means he was thinking about things I had been thinking about)
'Nothing.' (And I was thinking what he had been thinking about)
He smiled at me.
Have you ever looked a person in the eye, while he's smiling? So straightly, stubbornly. I have. At that moment a person's eye is filled with purity. And they are shining so brightly. And, hey, just listen to this; you can see the kind of heart that person has if you look him in the eye.
Wait, then, if you look at his nose, you will get information about his lungs or liver? Baloney.
I smiled back. This was a warm moment, just because you accidentally touched me with your leg.

No. I still don't know why I have been laughing for about ten minutes. I would look like a mad person if you haven't been there to join my loud laughter.
'So why did you say 'sorry'?'
‘I somehow touched you.’
'I didn't feel anything.'
'Really? Next time I will try harder.'
Again the laughter. And hey... There was nothing to laugh at. Oh... I remember that it was hard to breathe afterwards.
'Merry Christmas, honey', you said
'Thank you. Merry Christmas you too.'
'Here is something for you.'
'My Gosh, you shouldn't have.'
'Open it.'
And when you open a present, you wonder what the hell can it be, because you seem to have everything you've ever wanted and yet another present is given to you.
One more thing, which is interesting, is the expression on a person's (who gives you the present) face. He is smiling; looking at you, at the present and once again at you. So then you think, if he's smiling and wants you to see the present... Means, the present has to be unexpected and incredibly special.
'Thank you. Thanks. This is beautiful. But this was your ring?'
'Don't like it?'
'I love it.'
'It's a piece of me. I want you to know that I love you thiiiiiiiiiiiiis much.'
'Huh? And I love you thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much.'
Now why did I show my tongue...? Again, the laughter... I began to feel tired. So I lay down, closed my eyes for a second. I opened my eyes and you were gone without a trace. How? In one eye blink? It's less than a second.
In twenty minutes I went to another room. I thought maybe you joined my family for a Christmas meal. Instead I discovered... You'd never been here.
My mum told me to sit down. I did that. Then told me to stay calm. And only then she told me about the thing she heard on the news.
'On the way to the countryside, a young man dies in a terrible car accident.'
I couldn't breathe at all. I sat there for thirty minutes speechless. Then I screamed.
'He wanted to visit me, mum. He wanted to be with me in this house, on this Christmas Eve. He wanted to give me a present. He... He was here with me!'
Hysterically, I was running through out the whole house, searching for him. He was not dead. Furthermore, he was talking to me and gave me his ring. He had told me about it. It was a present from his grandfather... But the ring once belonged to his unknown ancestor.
I didn't find any sign of him being here today. No wonder, I didn't feel his touch. Maybe I was dreaming? So why the fuck am I wearing this ring? I stopped searching. I fell down on that solid ground. I saw his silhouette, looking straight at me, once again, smiling. I closed my eyes and screamed so hard that I lost my voice. My parents found me laying there, on the ground, where I fell down, and crying without a sound.
And no, I didn't commit suicide, because of my unhappy love. I understood that my love is waiting for me. Maybe it plans to start in another life.
I left this fucking house and went to the Honolulu Islands; I took him with me, as I promised. It was a lot of fun, until...
'Girl drowns in the ocean. Rescuers could not save her due to unknown circumstances.'
I don't remember us talking ever since that day. Until now... As we everyday smile... Fall, winter - at that old house. Spring, summer - on the Honolulu Islands. We smile everywhere, everyday. We don't talk anymore. I've never taken that ring off. It protects me... (From what?)... From thinking about the future and realizing there is none... For us.
CocoRosie feat. Antony - Beautiful Boyz (tisk, tisk, tisk, Josh, You got me addicted to that song!)
**UPDATE! One of the most talented people I know has proposed his soulmate and she has accepted it. This is a beautiful thing to hear! I am truly happy. I feel so enlightened and I wish to give Ravi & Akankshi all of my positive energy and best wishes.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

::..The Evolution Of My Halloween..::

'I am bored to death', she said and looked at her friends whilst they were coming back home from school.

'Why so?', a friend asked.
'I need something new, something scary. I want to celebrate Halloween and YOU ARE INVITED.
***The Evolution Of My Halloween.***
2000's BASH!
UP ^
We were such swell kids, amaaaaazing :) Found meeeeeee in this pic? Well, I'm the one with a blonde shred of hair on my head :D The headless things are Julia & Maria, the photogenic masked witch is Natalia and the Russian "Baba Jozhka" :D is Kasia.
Me(in black), Kasia, Natalia (unmasked already :D), Julia & Irena :) It was when we decided that the costumes can go off (partly), we can make some pics & then dance around the house :)
It was definitely a marvelous party; now remains a perfect memory: no fights, only smiles, laughs and happy faces. It was when we decided this had to become a tradition.
2001's BASH!

!!~Pitty everyone forgot to take their cameras with them: don't forget, 2001 is still the ErA of normal cameras, not the digital ones. I mean, I knew abt the digital camera but I thought it was something that I could never have had. Guess I was wrong, cuz now every dog has it even in his cell phone. Guess I am one of those dogs :D Anyway, the bash was great. We all had different costumes this time and I remember me having a chain on my leg, so I think I was a prisoner's ghost or something. I guess this Halloween remains a mystery. Well, all traditions have their secrets and Halloween 2001 is a secret to you and me :) All I know, everyone loved it & waited for the next year to come faster.
2002's BASH!
UP ^
Woooooooohooooo! Another year, another bash :) This time it's 2002's Halloween Bash! I guess we changed. I mean, just look at the last pix and compare them to these. I think I changed. But we still had LOADSSSS of fun :D The 2 photogenic ghosts or the Scream Movie Characters are Julia and Natalia(Natalia's pale & Julia's yellow :D) The leopard *gRrR* is Maria, The Witch or 'Baba Jozhka' (I just luv that word) is My dear blondie, Agata. I am hugging my friend, Eve, aka Mortish and who am I? I am a vampire (btw, I remember me searching for my thangs and screaming: 'I am not starting the party without my thangzzzz, damn it!')
UP ^
Oh YEAH, a different pose, all you POSERS :D There's a funny ~illusion~ in this pic, if ya'll look closely at the hand embracing my friend Eve (Mortish) you shall see that it's not Agata's (Witch's) hand, but Yours Truly's :D OMG. This is a crazy pic. Come to think of it, they all r craz-ey.
The 3rd Halloween was great. Games, fun, scary stories. It was also A Day Of Halloween Sql. Me & Eve made some posters that were used as whiteboards and we were teaching such subjects as:
**~ Halloween Religion - Teacher Natalia; (& her teachings of the 10 Halloween Orders)
**~ Halloween History - Teacher Maria (aka Lachowicz or our former history teacher who was spitting on us all whilst explaining the topic :D ewwwww.)
**~ Halloween Art - Teacher Julia who made a spesh document and wrote words in such a shrift, that even she, herself, can't read what's written there :D A perfect addition to Halloween Mysteries ;)
**~ Halloween Biology - Teacher Eve who explained what a vampire's nail consisted of (she found metal there :D)
**~Halloween Music - Teacher Edyta (me) :D we sang Halloween Songs, the first Halloween Canon & some zombie ghostie songs that i have come up with :D
**~ Halloween P.E. - Teacher Agata :D and her drastic physical education measures :D
... It's a wonderful memory...
2003's BASH!
UP ^
Whaaaaa :D This is Halloween 2003 and our costumes get scarier (or we get scarier? LOL) :D Myself (with a flower in my hair) & Eve are Gipsies and we can tell everything ya'll wanna know (& trust me, u don't :P) Maria (in black) & Julia (all wrapped up in spiderrrrrrwebs) are Mortishes ;) and Agata is a WITCH. What a scary combination of ghouls.
UP ^
In the middle there is the mstarl of the show Maria aka Mortish dressed as Verka Serduchka, a russian comedian-singer :D And the two Gipsies are me & Eve. It was quite a show :D
UP ^
The SYMBOL Of our Halloweens: The legs game. People lay down and form a labirynth which a victime (this time me) has to go through. Scary, huh? Well my Halloween bruises scared me too :D But that didn't prevent us from playing :) I remember my friend Natalia screaming that because of this game they will throw her out of the modelling agency :D
Good clean fun. And loads of dirty dancing. Unless I am mistaken it was during this party that we played truth or dare and I dared to eat an oranges leftouts :D I told everyone it was tasty & everyone started to eat 'em :D Phah. But it's nothing compared to Julia's task, during the 1st Halloween :D She had to pee in front of us all. She did it perfectly. *Thumbs up* Halloween has become a stable celebration.
2004's BASH!
UP ^
Kids got to know what a digital camera is: Maria's got one of those and has kindly brought it to make some memorable pics. Oh yeah, they were memorable. Some of them were even censored thats why I aint gonna show ya them :P thyhy. Ignore that.
This time Kasia is a Gipsy (the red cutie) Maria is Cleopatra, Agata(The Blondie) is a Queen Of Halloween, Julia is 'Chiuvak In black' :D (translation: dude in black, just a russian word made it sound funnier ;D~) & I'm a retro chic or whatever :D ( I am between the arms of Eve in a red sweater, in case you haven't recognised me)
UP ^
Did this gloomy pic scare the living shit outta you? Well, yeah, that's me. Stangely, I liked this pic just cuz it's dark and different from who I really am. A classical example (no, not of present perfect) of a Halloween pic :D
UP ^
There are people who have a talent to look okay when they are drunk. We have a talent to look drunk when we're okay :D
This Halloween kicked ass! I loved it maybe cuz of my costume, I love the RETRO era. It remains my fave era in history. (Isn't that obvious?) and wearing things out from that era makes me feel right at home. I just think we all had loads of fun :)
2005's BASH!
UP ^
Say it! You wanna call the mental hospital, you can say it loudly & proudly. Ain't we cuteeeeee? Don't answer that. Anyway, it's me and my 3 best friends (mentally equal as you can see) Maria is the Spade Queen (hiding), Agata is a Gipsy, Julia is Mr Warner and I am a goth. It's ok, you can come out now, it's just a pic :D
UP ^
This just had to be posted! Julia, you made Marilyn Manson PROUD. I love the pumpkins behind her. This is just extra Halloweenish!
UP ^
Myself and the perfect man :D
It was an awesome party. I made up a Tarrot Game which made some people say: "OH ME GAWD, what's goin' on there?' Hehe. We had loads of fun and told scary stories. Booya.
2006's (final) BASH!
UP ^
The Asian girls. Me being Indian & Julia being a Geisha. How exotic :D The main phrazes up to this hour, ME: 'Quit staring at my breasts' :D~ & 'I can't walk normally in these curtains' :D LOL
UP ^
Me being Indian :P It's just that those movies r sooo prettyyyyyyy *drooling* & the girls are so beautiful (some guys are too :P) so i just couldn't resist it :)
Halloween is a beautiful celebration when you can be someone you are not.
Hava Nagila.mp3 (Jewish Wedding Dance (yes we danced to that))
Bade Miyan Chote Miyan.mp3 (I was torturing my sweeties with Belly Dancing)
Tarkan - Buge Gee.mp3 (Remix) :D
Tarkan - Sidikim.mp3 (Maria was torturing us very kindly, in fact, unlike me :D)
Ingrid - In Tango.mp3 (Frrrrrrench powered by Kasia ;))
Chinese Music - Pearlriver Sunset.mp3 (a Geisha pose dance by sweet Julia)
Agata had to be Jewish :D Who will recognize my blondie now?
UP ^
Cute Kasia. The wickedly HOT Maria. Btw, I felt the need to name her Clementine. Don't ask. Period.
UP ^
Myself & my new hairdoo. Wonder if mum sees it & what will she say :D Anywho, Agata was right: everyone tried her wig on :D
IT WAS LOADS OF FUN! I loved it! I am sooo much thankful to my fave girls for making this party a tradition. I love it & it means sooo much to me :) LUV YA GIRLS!
Have a spooky Halloween!

Monday, September 25, 2006

Call Me A Whore Now

I just got lost
Thought I didn't need anything but you
Threw everything away to hell, to burn
Well, I was wrong
Never felt pain this way
When I found a place for me
Where lost souls work
Because they are forever disappointed in life, in truth
Because of them
Because of men
There, I feel free to do my pleasures
I'm not bad, that's my job
I earn to live, isn't that what's life about?
Manly pleasures are ok
When females sit at home and pray
It just stopped
Because of them
Because of men
Maybe I can be killed any moment now
Maybe I will be laughed at
Hell knows
It's none of your business
You left me alone,
Made me through myself away
And you are now
... Gone...
Be that way
Because of you
Because it's true
Go ahead, call me a whore now.

I was 14 when i wrote this. I was wondering how it was for them. For members of the Risk Group. For people who we don't dare to look at. They are so lost. Some know about it some don't. I felt fear. Yup, I was a kid when I wrote this. Still am.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Dialogues (4 Different Ones)

Today is my NAME DAY! i wish health & loads of love to all Edytas around the world!

In a room full of people you may feel emptiness. And you can hear them speak. And when you are alone, you listen. You listen to dialogues and you wish you were deaf. When you are not alone, you speak to you listener and look at people who wish they were deaf. No one wants to be loaded.

'Then he somehow left.'
'Did you try to bring him back?'
'No, not really. I don't think I need him anymore.'
'Did you cry?'
'Yes I have. A few days. It didn't mean much though.'
'You barely had a connection between you two.'
'Yeah... I think you're right. Now I realize that.'
'Do you ever think of him?'
'You mean nowadays?'
'Hardly ever.'
'It was a banal situation.'
'Yes it was. I kept praying but nothing happened. I hoped... He never cared.'
'You chose a different path?'
'I didn't choose anything. I wanted to stay.'
'Why won't you come back?'
'I have never known you had an inexorable personality.'
'Neither have I. I am not going to change for him. Not anymore. He didn't love me. So neither did I. I regret it all.'
'Yeah. All that remorse causes me pain. But I am used to it. I need to make a change again.'
'For yourself?'
'Yeah. For me.'
'Why did you trust him?'
'I didn't have anyone.'
'Do you have someone now?'
'No. Guess not.'
'Does it make you feel lonely?'
'No. More like abandoned.'
'So you will come back to him?'
'He hates me now after all I did.'
'What did you do?'
'I was thinking.'
'You can't destroy your sub consciousness.'
'Rules say I have to.'
'Then... Who do you have to turn to?'
'No one.'
'So you'll die soon?'
'I am already dead if he doesn't believe in me.'
'Do you feel pain?'
'Dead don't feel.'
'I guess you're right. He never existed.'
'No. He does. You're just alive.'
A nun was talking to a close friend about God.

'You're so beautiful...'
'So are you...'
'No, I've never been. I am talking to angels. I see you're white dresses. So innocent. So pure. God sent me angels. Thank you.'
'You'll feel as you're slightly flying away.'
'Do I have wings?'
'Just relax and drift away. Dream...'
'Am I an angel too? I have read somewhere that if angels are talking to you, mean that you are an angel too because no one understands angels except their selves.'
'People write a lot of things. That doesn't make them true.'
'So I am not an angel?'
'Not yet.'
'Oh? I made mistakes, yeah, I know. I am sure. But I was only human. Imperfect. Can you ask God to forgive me?'
'We surely will.'
'Will I be able to join you?'
'I am afraid not.'
'Why? I won't be an angel? I sinned that much?'
'You can not join us.'
'I know. I understand. I've never been good enough. Will I got to hell?'
'I am sure you shan't.'
'You promise?'
'I promise.'
'So who will I become?'
'It depends on you.'
'So I have a chance to become an angel?'
'The chances are all yours.'
'You just made me the happiest living person. Ever.'
'Living... Person? Not for long.'
'Really? I will be an angel soon? Why aren't you smiling? It's a joyful occasion.'
'I am smiling.'
'Good! Because I will smile with angels soon.'
'Yeah. I guess you will.'
'Will you smile with me?'
'Yeah, in some time we all will.'
'I'll wait for you. You're so white... The angel of purity... Don't... hide... your... wings...'
'Doctor? She died.'
'She thought I was an angel.'
'To your friends you are.'
'As you, nurse.'

'Damn it to hell. He was strange.'
'Yeah. Almost like you.'
'Go ahead, laugh at me and him.'
'I am not. He had his weaknesses. Like that tree. He wouldn't let you chop it down.'
'You got to admit, though, it's a pretty tree. He loved nature.'
'I love that tree too.'
'He used to sit under it. Almost smiling to himself.'
'I liked him.'
'I loved him.'
'No one else liked him except us.'
'People hate everything they don't know. He was strange to them. People need everything elaborate.'
'I like him being different. He was always silent.'
'I never heard him either.'
'He had a soul. You know? Sometimes people are soulless. They speak much and do nothing. He never said anything but he did a lot of things for us. He was a part of us.'
'He still is a part of me.'
'Of me too.'
'I liked talking to him. He'd always listen. Even if it was bullshit. He'd always have time for me.'
'Memories of him haunt me.'
'I can't live in memories either. I remember everyday with him.'
'Yeah. He seemed to be always with us. He was beautiful.'
'Remember that time when he helped our neighbor, Susan? She would have been dead now. Never ever he wanted a reward.'
'Did he go to heaven?'
'I think he did. He loved and was loved. Could you ask for more?'
'He was perfect.'
'I miss him.'
'I miss him too.'
'You want to continue life?'
'What will we do now? We lost him.'
'Memories hurt.'
'Memories don't change but people do.'
'Let's start changing.'
'By chopping down that tree.'
'I can't.'
'Neither can I.'
'I'll go call the neighbors for help.'
'Yeah, you do that. I will burn his photographs.'
They loved their Saint Bernard although their surrounders were afraid of him. He was a good dog.

'It's passion that we both need.'
'Speak for yourself.'
'You don't love me?'
'I love you! But it's what I tried to show you for ages! Passion, passion, PASSION! And only now, after all these years, you've understood it.'
'Why didn't you tell it to me before?'
'I wanted you to realize it for yourself.'
'Sometimes you're so demanding.'
'Sometimes. We all are.'
'Do you love me?'
'I've never stopped loving you.'
'Will you forgive me?'
'Forgive you what?'
'This mess that we've created by keeping our love a secret.'
'It's my fault too.'
'Can I embrace you?'
'We both know you don't have to ask me that.'
'There are too many things that only we both know, and no one else.'
'Am I passionate enough now?'
'Yeah, I guess so.'
'You too. You've always been.'
'Maybe I should have told you. Anyway, here, have a glass of wine. It's good for you soul.'
'It's good to set the mood.'
'Yeah, that too.'
'Would you fight for love?'
'Thought so.'
'Why did you think so?'
'Because you weren't passionate enough.'
'Would you fight for love?'
'Why not?'
'I never put too much effort into making you passionate.'
'Which means?'
'You're worthless.'
'You don't love me.'
'Glad you guessed.'
'So, I was just a game?'
'No, I just imagined you. And now I want you to disappear.'
'Will you need me again?'
'Can you give me hope?'
'Here, have all the hope in the world. Drink it like a pill, drink it aristocratically with wine.'
'Thank you.'
'Now go.'
An author is talking to a friend about his new book.
'Have you read my book?'
'About imagination and metaphysics?'
'Yeah, that one.'
'No, not yet.'
'Don't. It's shit anyway.'

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Greyed To Death (Old Hollywood) |<3|

Greyed to death
Their black eyes look; though they are greyly blue
And grey blondes are symbols
The glimmer on photographs
Is unseen to the human eye
Yet noticed by our mind.
They're smiling with
Their grey white teeth
And show their best friends:
The grey diamonds and
The grey 24 carat gold.
Our blushing cheeks were kissed
By their grey bloody red lips
Blown from a grey white hand
Covered with grey red nail polish

We're still platforms.
They're still glamour.

Greyed to death
Only the Bible has its
Initial color-
Only there murder is greyly black-
Like it has to be.
We hear their grey sweet voices
We dwell on their grey pain
We keep them colorfully grey
In our greyed to death

On screen, off screen - they are
Greyly colorful
Just like your mind noticed them.
You still admire them until now
As they stopped their grey breath
After all these years they're still alive
Although they're greyed to death.

Pictures: The Beautiful Marlene Dietrich

Friday, August 25, 2006

Puss is in Da House------!!

Thank You so much PJ for tagging me :)
Things about my Puss. She's sooooo cuteeeeeee & I love her. Wanna find out why?

1. My mum says Puss is just like me: doesnt eat fish, always complains, doesnt like when someone touches her when she's not in the mood etc. Well. Can't argue with those things.
2. Last summer when I arrived in Moscow (& was hell tired) we closed the door & went to sleep. However, it appeared that Pussycat wanted to get out of the room but she couldnt open the door. So she looked at me & my mum & said : 'Mama'. Animals talking?
3. Puss is a sweeeeeeeeet alarm clock towards me but a drastic one towards my mum :) Lemme explain: She scratched my mum & she was touching my hand by her palm sooo softly & saying: 'Miau'. I melted on that scene.

4. She is soooooooooo fucking talkative. When my mum calls me from Moscow i can't get with whom am i talking? With my mum or with Puss? Hear her miaus the whole time :) Also, abt her being talkative: the windiw in summer is always open & loads of flies & insects fly through it & Queen Pussey tries to catch 'em. But she fails, sadly. & she comes to my mum & complains about her deep sadness & apathy of uncought flies. (here's the moment where everyone cries)
5. Puss likes to play Matrix. Yup. Once, i was listening to my mp3 player & suddenly saw Pussey running through out the whole room, jumping on the bed & jumping off it in SLOW MOTION. Go get those men in black glasses, Puss.

Now, I need to tag some victimes*cough*people who werent tagged yet.
Tsar (bro)
Yaney (were you tagged?)
Of course, there is no pressure. Absolutely. :)
I shall share some new poems asap :)

Saturday, August 19, 2006


O Natchnienie! Muzo mlodosci!
Pozwol mi dotknac Cie
Jako dotknelas kiedys mnie
Prosze wroc!
Ale nie zyjesz juz dla mnie!
Byc moze tylko slowa sa moim krzykiem,
Ciche i glosne w ten sam czas
Czy ktokolwiek slyszy, ze wolam? Nie.
O! Jak zimno byc nieslyszana dusza.
Byc moze sciany uslysza moje slowa?
Siedze jedna w tych bialych lzach i krzycze
By mnie uslyszeli
Nie slysza.
Spocona i cicha
Martwa i wroga
I calkiem jedna
Porzucona przez
Stalo sie.

Inspiration! The Goddess Of Youth!
Let me touch you
How you once touched me
Please, you have to come back!
But you died for me
You left.
May haps my words are my scream
Whispers and shouts at the same time
Does anyone hear my cry for help? No.
It's so cold to be an unheard soul.
Perhaps walls could hear me out?
Sitting here, devoured by white tears
I shout.
For them to hear me out
They don't hear me.
Sweaty and silent
Dead and deadly
Abandoned by
It happened.


Monday, August 07, 2006

|*| My Brother |*|

Hey! I decided to change again. I think I am settled now :) I love this one. The girl who made it is a genius :) Abt today's story: I think this is the most childish text I've ever written. But it has always meant so much to me. I even don't know why. I was laughing at the beginning & almost crying when I wrote the last sentence. My friend, Agata, told me her review on this text in winter, this i remember. I'll never forget these words (I quote): 'Soaa... This drunkass guy was a girl?' :D She also said that the ending was drastic cuz she thought that AT LAST Edyta wrote sumthin' funny. Not this time, I guess ;)Anywho, hope ya like it & why do I like this text? It's my own Utopia. It makes me feel cozy. It's a strange text. And yes. I am strange. Cheers!

'Hey, what's up...?'
'Listen, I just ... I don't know how to tell you this, but... I don't mean to hurt you or something...'
'All right...'
'Well, it's over... Ok? I've got another girl and... Am... You know... That sort of stuff...'
'O... K...'
'Not angry?'
'No, no... I'm fine. Ok... Then... Bye... huh?'
'Hmm... Well, you took it easy... That's cool... No seriously, we can still be friends.'
(Fuck You!)
'Yeah sure, sure. Bye now.'
'Ok... Bye.'
I turned around. Walked slowly, I had to make you think that I was ok. I tried to breathe normally. I've almost made it... Yes, yes... That corner... That turn to the left and you won't see me. Made it!

And burst into tears... Tears, tears, tears... So fucking meaningless... I was just sitting there crying... Kicked that garbage can and it fell down, causing all of the smelly shit to lie chaotically on the ground. No, I didn't care. And with the sound of:
'You fucking goddamn asshole, you shitty slut, you worn-out bitch! You used me... You used me... He used... me... Shit...', I closed my eyes, wishing you would be back in my arms.
I wanted to open my eyes and see you there again, smiling, as you always were... I opened my eyes and saw the same street. Everything was the same. Only it was night.
'What the...'
I took a look around. Yeah, it was very dark. I asked this old lady for the time. And it was kind of late... Eleven PM sharp. I decided that I didn't give a shit anymore, so come on baby, let's go to the store. And so I did. Well, I didn't buy anything useful, that's for sure. Just some drinks, the hard ones. Yeah, the heavy artillery. I went to the bus stop, sat there and drunk my medicine. Hell, yeah, it felt good.
'To you, bitch... Cheers!', I drunk all of the liquid out of the bottle.
I had one more bottle. I was sitting there like an alcoholic-maniac-drug-addict-kinda-thing and that was when I noticed that all of the people, who were sitting near me, got up and decided to stand three steps further. That's right... Keep a distance, ladies.
'Fine... Cowards...' I opened another bottle.
Well, by the time I finished this bottle, I was extremely drunk. Then I remembered that I still had to get home. I looked and, hooray, there was the late bus. God bless this bus driver. I somehow got into this bus, sat in the back sit and tried to keep my head straight. Well, that was a difficult job, indeed. I almost fell asleep but then I heard that it was my stop, I struggled, held onto some guy (not less drunk than me, for sure) and got out of the bus.
'Thanks, dude...'
'Yeah, baby, don't get screwed..'
'Right on!'
Well, I entered my home, everyone was sleeping. (Wait, I forgot to tell you the story how I put my key into the key hole... Skip this? Right, ok...)
I closed the front door and sat there on the floor, covering my face. I sat like that, flying from planet to planet for about twenty minutes. Then I realized that I need to stay cool and not let anyone know about what happened. I crawled in the dark, like an idiot but still, I reached my room. Well, yeah, my dog was afraid of me. Thanks God, dogs can't laugh, I'd be the laughing stunt of the century, that's for sure. I took my clothes off and got into my bed. It was really cold. And my dog has always lain besides me, but not this time. No, sir. Say... Can dogs smell alcohol? (Yes, Einstein) And I fell asleep. Who knows, maybe I was snoring. But I woke up with a disgusting feeling.

'Morning, sis...'
'Morning, bro...'
'And? What's up?', he looked at me in that suspicious way
'You're going to tell on me?'
'Well, that's the right thing to do, but... If you tell me what's up, maybe I'll reconsider.'
'Bullshit, Martin. Nothing's wrong.'
'Sure, sure. And the aliens have landed.'
'Seriously! Those green gooey monsters... Oh my God... When I saw them I was like... (Moment of silence) Didn't buy it, did you?'
'We split up.'
(Moment of silence)
'He rang today.'
'And you said?'
'Come on...'
'I said you're with my friend. Jeff.'
I looked down. Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! I love my big brother!
'And... I think he wants you back...'
'I hope you won't let me go.'
'No way. You're flying with me like... Like...'
'A fly on shit? - Our Beloved phrase'
'Love you...' I smiled and embraced him.

I somehow stood up from my bed. I was holding onto walls as I made my first steps. That's right, like a newly born kid. I heard a cough.
I could have sworn that was my brother. I thought that I'll see him in the kitchen! Yes, he has to be there.
No... Not even a shadow... My mind playing tricks on me again...
Why did you die, bro? I always dream about you. I goddamn miss you.
Now let me get on with figuring out a way out of the mess I've created. It's so difficult without you.

Monday, July 31, 2006

I Died Yesterday

I decided that it was time to change. I must admit, I really loved my previous layout. But it started to wound my eyes. We all need changes, don't we?
Anyway, today I'd like to share something that I am very proud of up to this day. By this poem, I feel a sense of acomplishment because someone of my friends (i don't remember who, remind me? Yes. Sclerosis.) said it was a CLASSIC. Woah. That's the best compliment I have ever received. I really hope you enjoy it & tell me what do you think about it. :)
The only sad thing about my new lay is that i had to wave bye-bye to Scoobz. I dunno how to make him smaller to fit in : Anyway, hope you're all fine. & (as Sams would say) Peace & Happiness in a world that lacks it. Today I dedicate this poem to the people that died in Lebanon. It's the fucking least I could do. I wish I could do more.

I died yesterday
The sun was shining
I never said good bye
I died yesterday
The world was smiling
No one even saw it
Wait...wait...Saw what?
Nothing, nothing changed

Who r u talking to?

Someone else died with me
I don't remember his name
Jumped of a bridge
He only said he had himself to blame
Someone else died with me
Damn... I can't remember his name

It's your fault

I died yesterday
But it feels like
I'm dying everyday
You made me this?
I died yesterday

You took me with you

I didn't even touch you

You took me with you

Yeah, that guy died with me
It was all yesterday
Did you spot his suicide?
I died yesterday
Seems he was by my side
I remember him staying alive
Yeah, what's-his-name died

I went there with you

I didn't want you to

I need you, I always do

I didn't want you to

I loved you

We died yesterday
Hey, you! Did you see that?
Me and that guy, whoever he is
We died yesterday
That was the end of the world
Did you feel our death?

You loved me?


We talk much

Anyway, how's life now?
Didn't change a bit?
How's Sally? Catherine?
Burnt candles that were never lit
A lot of things happened?
Oh, you know and by the way
I died yesterday


Monday, July 24, 2006

* * * (What A Good Way To Lie)

What a good way to lie
What a nice heart to bruise
What a nice moment to lose
What a nice time to die

I've been wrong but silent
I've kissed all of your sins
Now I know what it means
To be fucked and violent

Damn it all, but your voice
Was kind and warm... Cold...
Made me do as I was told
I've never had any choice

A moment like this shit
Of your kisses and touches
My falls and your catches
You've made me like spit

Stepped on me, smiled
How good was I, when enslaved?
How I worried 'till felt faint?
And you, always so calm and mild...

I don't know why I have suffered
Because you made me love?
But you never had enough
I know, to you, I've never mattered

Who fucking hears me now?
Your eyes which don't give a shit?
Or your words which made me bleed?
- Shh... Honey, you're speaking too loud...

You've always been wrong
Damn it, I've always waited
As I realized that I am hated
Fuck, why did it take me so long?

I knew I had to break the border
And tell you everything you won't miss
To make it hurt, I'll end it with a kiss
I missed you, loved you, but it's over.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

[Vice Versa]...=...[asreV eciV]

skaerb eht gnittih fo deatsni ti no pets I
gniyrc fo deatsni hgual I
gnivig fo deatsni ekat I
riaper t'nod I; kaerb I
teahc I, tsenoh er'uoy enhW
daelp I, gniviecer er'uoY
desiurb m'I, tcefrep er'uoY
detaefed m'I, renniw eht er'uoY
tsud m'I dna naelc er'uoY
hguone evah I nehw erom evah uoY
eci tips I, erif tae uoY
ecivda evig I, sredro evig uoY
tsol ma I dna efas era uoY
tsoc I dna yenom evig uoY
lamron era uoy tub tif t'nod I
.lanrete era uoy, deid tsuj I

No. You are fine,
It's just me who's

Art By: Luis Royo

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

*~The Sisterhood [Part 6]~*

I know I promised to bring it earlier. But one member of my family died. I needed some time. But as they say... It's better later than never... Or something like that. I hope you enjoy the last part of The Sisterhood. :) I wanna thank everyone who read it and wrote me their opinions, questions, ideas... That was very sweet of you. I have a lot of other things to share with you :) I think I shall share some poetry with you next time:) Oh well, meanwhile here's part 6... Lemme know whatcha think LOL :) Hope you all r fine and as Sam would say: Peace & Happiness to all. (In fact... Nope, not to all :P :D~)
'Ana?', I said when I was in front of her doorstep, 'Ana... I need to talk to you. When can we go to the temple?'
'Chris? It's early morning... What are you talking about? What temple? When? Chris, what are you doing here?' Ana couldn't understand what I was talking about.
'Ana... Just tell me, when we can go to the Temple Of Silvia?' I said it, Ana's eyes started glowing as if she suddenly regained consciousness.
'Come in.' she said.
So I did. I felt rather uncomfortable; I had a bad dream, my wife was dead and I suddenly came to the house of a certain prostitute to whom I've always come and she wasn't and never has been a member of the Sisterhood. She was not a Badhelian. Rewind... What?
She stood in her purple night gown looking at me with strange eyes; I saw some delight in them. I also saw some pain. One thing I knew for sure; hell, she was interested. She was interested in my actions. She wanted to be my right hand man. Woman, whatever.
She came near me and started kissing me on the lips. It was something like a routine to her, I wasn't against but this time this kiss was out of place. But me, as a man, I didn't mind.
'You want to see those dungeons? You will risk it, Chris? We could be caught.'
'Ana... I need to see it. I need to find a way to prevent The Sisterhood from becoming a religion, a cult. I want to prevent it from the world. I want it to vanish again. Like that time.'
'She knew that it was time for the sisterhood to disappear to be able to come back again.'
I shivered. I was hearing voices? Ana looked at me because she noticed me looking peculiar.
'Tomorrow, Chris. We will see the Temple of Silvia tomorrow. Not today, Chris. I have work today.'
'Ok, Ana.'
This time I kissed her. Not to express my gratitude but to let her know that she was THE BITCH and I was her master.
I went out of Ana's home. I was feeling dizzy. Heck, I was feeling like a used Snickers wrapper paper. All those thoughts? What did they mean? I had a mixture of feelings every time I saw Ana. I wanted to love her but I wanted to enslave her. I wanted to kiss her but I wanted to hit her. I was thinking about my wife but that prostitute's faces appeared in front of mine. I didn't like this mixture.
'Holy crap, Mike. You scared the shit out of me.'
'That's why I am a police officer. Where were you on the 9th of August, 1996?'
'Drinking my ass off with you, sir.'
'Damn. Let's not put it in the record.'
Tell him or not? Tell him or not? Tell him! Tell him! Tell him!
... Or not.
'Yeah, Chris?'

'Oh, nothing. There is this guy monk walking around after me.'
'Ah, I know this fellow, nice fellow, indeed.'
'But he is insane.'
'No he ain't. He's a normal guy, just like us 2. Just he chose his God.'
'You talk a lot with him?'
'Yeah sure, Christopher. But I hear you like your new girlfriend. Hope you know she is a prostitute.'
'She is not my girl...'
'Say, Chris? I fucked her when my wife died.'
I was shocked. I couldn't speak for a moment. He said that he slept with someone called Elizabeth. Her name was Ana, this I knew solidly.
'Mike! You told me her name was Elizabeth! Elizabeth!'
'Is it difficult for you to say that your name is Mike, Chris?'
With this he left. He left me and my thoughts. As well as my fears. So that night we all slept with Ana? I mean Elizabeth. I mean with Ana. With THE BITCH?
I went home and I didn't come out. It was raining. Good thing that we didn't go to the dungeons of The Temple of Silvia today. We would be as wet as sunken ships. This thing has always scared me: Ship Cemeteries. Somewhere there, under those gallons of water so many ships are laying, inhabited by sharks. Inhabited by other fish. Those dark rooms where the sun doesn't reach are as dead as the people who sunk with the ship or who sunk overboard. Those ships are like people. They died. Like those planes that crashed and sank in the ocean. Water is a dangerous thing. Water and women are dangerous.
With such thoughts my day ended. Now I looked forward to visiting the temple. I knew something had to be done; I wanted to kill the so-called Silvia of today. Without the leader the tribe is nothing. Ah, yes, my beautiful knife. That's the stuff. I can already imagine it going into the body of Silvia, whoever she is. Tomorrow's a big day, champ. Ana, baby, I will do it for you. I will kill the bitch. I swear, baby, for you. I miss you but I still keep your diary locked although I want to know all of your secrets. I kiss it everyday, Ana. I miss you and your voice. Ana... You were the perfect wife. Were. Yes, the past from. You died, Aney, you left me alone. How badly I want you back. I still love my wife. My dead wife.
With such chaotic thoughts I went to bed. My mind was a mess. But I didn't dream anything. Not even about Ana, my wife. But I wanted.
Early in the morning that day Ana came to my house. She knocked on the door. I looked through the window; she was wearing a black dress. It was long but it stressed the beauty of her body. I let her in with no words.
'Chris... We must go. The sun almost reached the zenith. We can't go to the temple in the evening, it's more dangerous. Do you understand me? Also now, we will see the dungeons clearly because of the sun. It was raining yesterday. Hurry, Christopher.'
I hurried and got dressed. I took my knife. I ran out of the room along with Ana. But this time she was walking very fast. I couldn't catch up.
'Ana, wait, I can't go so fast. What's the rush? The sun won't hide in like... 7 hours!'
'Chris, they are the weakest before the sun reaches the zenith.'
'The Badhelians!'
'Ana, that's just a legend, they don't really exist. Or should I call you... Elizabeth?'
Ana came near me. She was furious.
'Don't you dare say anything about the job I have. And it's you, men, who are guilty in the deaths of your wives. Blame yourself.'
She started to walk away slowly. I followed her. She had a point. What was the difference, anyway?
'I'm sorry, Ana. I'm sorry.' I said.
She was silent. But then she spoke quietly to me.
'Did you have a dream? Did you dream of the Badhelians, Chris?'
I already wanted to nod and answer 'yes' when she told me not to answer.
'Me too. They are waiting for us and it's better if we go when they are weaker.'
I regret saying that ship cemeteries are scary. History coming to life is much scarier. I almost started praying. But not to God. To Badhelia. Because it was that Goddess in whom I believed now. I had proof. Faith needs proof.
We entered the temple and I felt cold. Like someone was breathing on me with ice breath. It was a scary feeling. As we went deeper to the beyond I saw some glowing eyes in the dark and they weren't bats. They were girls. I saw some dark silhouettes; they weren't moving. They looked like statues. But I felt their stare at me. They were alive. I was walking behind Ana and I was holding her hand because I was more scared than her. A lot more scared. I was even shaking. Shaking because I was cold and shaking because I was scared.
We entered a large room. It took us ages to get here. But this room looked very familiar. It was the same room where Silvia killed those 2 Vikings in my dream. This room was very bright and it looked exactly the same... Only a couple of ages older.
I noticed something missing in me. I couldn't understand what.
'Let the ritual begin!' a woman screamed. I knew her. She was a widow. Wait... She sacrificed her own husband for the Sisterhood? She was young and beautiful. She wore a red dress.
I looked around this huge room and saw that there were a lot of girls here wearing different outfits. But all of the dresses were made of silk. All of the girls were beautiful... I had a bizarre thought... Maybe they were friendly?
'Bring the man!' another woman screamed.
I felt some cold steel on my back. So much for friendliness.
'You shall die!' I heard this from a 12 year old girl.
I couldn't bear it. It was too much. I realized what was missing in my. Rather on me. Ana's hand. They caught her. They caught her. Now I am doomed. I have to find and kill the leader. Now or never. Come on, Chris. Don't be THE BITCH!
'Where is Silvia?' I screamed.
They were looking at me. But then one of them said:
'No man dares calling her name!'
'On your knees, slave!' Another girl told me. And I fell down on my knees. But I didn't give up.
'I need Silvia! Silvia! Silvia!' I screamed.
All of the sudden the Badhelians divided themselves into two groups and made way for a certain person. I already knew that it would be Silvia.
Silvia was walking slowly but she was sure of her actions. That girl came near me and smiled.
'Silvia?' I asked silently.
'No.' she replied and I felt that someone hit me from the behind.
I woke up after ten minutes all tied up on the floor. I was laying on the symbol of the Goddess, of Badhelia. I remembered my mission and I screamed again.
'I need Silvia! Silvia!'
I looked at Silvia. And I almost fainted.

'Wouldn't you know it? You are naive, Chris... All Badhelians have their Sisterhood symbols under their breasts but the true leader has it on the neck, Chris. Haven't you already noticed that on your wife's funeral?'
'Silvia.' She smiled at me,' How was your dream, tiger? Now you know about the sisterhood?'
'Damn bitch... how could you...'
'The leader's job is the most difficult one. I had to sleep with you. I had to be your friend. I had to tell your wife to commit suicide. I had to kiss you. I had to lie to you flawlessly.'
'You did your job perfectly, Ana.'
Some girl hit me and said:
'Bye bye, Chris. And guess what. I will kill you with your own knife. Let the ceremony begin! The sun has reached the zenith. The world is ours!'
Two girls came with a huge book and started reading in their unknown language.
'Kohlung profudlare dema Badhelia!'
'Dema Badhelia!' everyone screamed.
'Haodhik kiped jekof dema Badhelia!' they continued reading.
'Dema Badhelia!' everyone screamed again.
'Wait!' Silvia shouted.
'What do you sense, Silvia?'
'They are coming! Men.'
At that very moment most of the men in the city: husbands, brothers, friends, jumped into the dungeons of the temple and started killing their wives, sisters, girlfriends.
I was shocked. I couldn't move. I felt some hands on me. It was Mike.
'Mike? How could you...'
'Your insane grandpa told me. He's a seer and you would be dead without him.'
'Dema Badhelia!' Silvia screamed towards us.
'You bitch!' Mike shouted.
'No Mike! She can't commit suicide or the sisterhood will come back. Don't let her kill herself. You have to kill her.'
'Easy to say, Chris. You do it.'
I felt how much adrenaline was in my blood; I looked around me at men murdering their love, their own life. The sisterhood had to be defeated once and for all.
'Go on, Chris. Try to obey your given orders.' said Mike.
I must admit, I felt like a piece of shit. Ladies and gentlemen in one second I will be a murderer.
'Dema your ass, bitch!' I screamed and ran towards Silvia.
She already wanted to cut her throat but Mike stopped her.
'Now Chris, NOW!'
I... I cut her throat. And a very strange thing happened. Automatically all of the Badhelians cut their throats. There is no tribe without a leader.
Mike looked at me and I looked at him. It was over. The Sisterhood shan't come back. Men are stronger than woman. It always has been like that.
We started getting rid of the bodies. We burnt them all. We left no chances for the sisterhood. Us, men.
We live in times when globalization is a problem. Our city found some advantages in that. There were loads of pretty tourist girls in our city; many men married again and forgot about the damage that the Badhelians had done to this city. People do migrate and that's a fact. Girls fall in love with strangers and that's fact number two. However, I decided not to marry. I just loved my Ana. Even if she hated me, I loved her. She was my sweetheart.
I was on my way home after I finished my grocery shopping. There were kids playing everywhere. I noticed a ball rolled close to me and a beautiful young girl, aged about 4, running towards me.
'Here ya go, pretty lady.' I said.
'Thank you sir'

She looked at me for a moment, she was smiling. She had blue eyes. I noticed something known to me on her neck. It was the symbol. The symbol of The Sisterhood. She will be the leader. Thanks God that I'll die until then.
The girl ran toward her mum who was a kind looking woman. They both waved at me and smiled as I was thinking... Every woman on earth at least once has belonged to their own sisterhood. They all have their own badhelias. There is no stopping them.
Death is not the border to any sisterhood.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

~*The Sisterhood [Part 5]*~

Hello! I am so extremely sorry for the delay. I promise I shall bring you the next part faster:)
FACT: I am a lazyass.
Credit: To Agata, who brutally(!!!) made me write Part 5. I love ur brutality :P

The sun was shining. The air was so different from the one we got used to breathe. The trees made such soft sounds as the wind touched them. And there it was. A beauty. The temple of Silvia.
Two men on were riding towards the temple. They had two bags with blood stains all over the fabric. When they got there they shouted:
'All hail the queen of all time, Silvia!'
After this the gate opened and they slowly rode into the castle.
'Get off your horses, men!' They heard a shout from down below. It was a woman. She looked amazing; the clothes that she was wearing, her facial expression and her voice. She didn't even have to move to make them get off of their horses and fall for her. She has been taught. The two men were standing there, watching her vanish into thin air with their horses. Then they saw a girl. She was young and astonishingly beautiful.
'Silvia shall see you now. I hope you will satisfy her with your strength and kind gifts.' The girl spoke to them and covered her face with some see-through fabric.
The two men couldn't say anything. The girl smiled and said:
'Follow me.'
They followed her through some big corridors and huge rooms where various women were sleeping, laughing, smiling at them.
Then they went through a room where pairs were kissing; the men smiled to each other.
'I hope this is what we get for killing Silvia's enemies', one said.
They entered a huge area and saw Silvia with all of her maids and friends.
'Ah, there you are. You are so late. I hope I shall get what I want', Silvia smiled to the men and came near them.
'We bring our most sincere apologies, Silvia, but here are the heads of your two worst enemies', one of the men said and opened the bags.
'Very well. You've done an excellent job.' Silvia came near one of them. She was wearing a silver cover and was mostly covered in gold.
'What's your name?' she asked.
The man wanted to answer but she already started to kiss him deeply. Then she stopped and smiled at him. Then she smiled to the other man. The girls behind those men said silently:
'Silvia must have liked you that she kissed you.'
The men started feel proud.
'Thank you', said Silvia and smiled proudly.
At that very moment the two girls put knives into the bodies of both men. Then they started to wiggle those knives whilst they remained in the bodies. Then the girls took the knives out and at that very second the men fell down. They were dead.
'I've taught you well, my precious angels. Now we shall have four unworthy souls so sacrifice to Badhelia,' Silvia said, 'Girls? We shall have a feast tonight!'
Silvia left the room, leaving the girls to get the bodies ready for sacrifice. They had a feast that night, indeed. Badhelia was on their side. How could she not?
'My Lord! Silvia killed our men!'
'Son? How do you know? The fact that they aren't back yet doesn't mean that they are not still alive.'
'Father! I was with them. I was the third man!'
'How could you? You are forbidden...'
'No, father, listen! I know how to be left unseen; don't you remember me, climbing trees, when I was little?'
'You could have died!'
'I am alive, am I not? As the future Leader of Vikings, I did what I had to do! The Badhelians cut their horses in pieces and burnt them! That meant they weren't coming back. And never shall, father!'
'Gather the men, son! Silvia shall pay!'
Little did he know that his son was positive that he'd lose.
That night he met Silvia and told her everything.
'Splendid.' Silvia smiled at him.
'We shall rule the world... Together, my love!'
'Are you sure that my armies are stronger than his?'
'Yes I am'
'Our love is true, The Son Of True Vikings.' Silvia said and they started to kiss as the water of the lake was reflecting the moon.
The next day great armies surrounded the temple of the Badhelians. The men began their attack. They started throwing burning arrows in the air as a symbol of a beginning battle.
'Silvia! They have started their attacks.' One girl cried out.
'Shh... Join us. We are praying. Badhelia shall give us strength.' Silvia replied as silent and calm as usual.
The girl joined the prayers with no negotiations. After three minutes Silvia has stood up. She raised a glass with some liquid in it.
'Badhelia has spoken to me. This is the final battle.'
'Silvia?' The girls cried.
'This is a glass of poison. Put your fingers into the glass and lick them. Leave the poison on your tongues. Once this is done open the gates', Silvia said calmly, 'My soldiers? You have shown you are worthy opponents. Die with no shame. Fight for what's true.'
The women nodded and took their weapons.
'Younger sisters! Hide the children. And come back to the battle area. Do not tell anyone where you've hidden the children.'
The girls obeyed the orders with no questions.
'Sisters! It is time! May truth lead us!'
'Badhelia! Badhelia! Badhelia!' All of the girls screamed.
'Open the gate!' Silvia screamed and vanished into the darkness.
The first men that entered the temple were fighting with warrior women. It was a bloody battle but there were far more men than women. The warrior Badhelians were defeated. But a lot of men died too.
As the Viking armies entered deeper into the castle they saw a lot of wonderful rooms. A lot of men were seduced by girls with poison on their tongues. After the kiss men were feeling weak and were choking with blood and dying, one by one. So did the girls. There was a far too big amount of poison in their blood. They died for the sisterhood.
In other rooms men died because they were falling into traps. Hidden knives, trap doors which led into rooms with spiders and snakes.
Some soldiers entered a room, where they saw the younger girls. They smiled at those young girls; the girls did the same. When the men got nearer the girls; they cut their own throats. The men were left shocked at the site that the have just seen. They were just standing there while other women attacked them with swords from the behind and cut them into two pieces.
Every time when the Vikings approached the women from the behind, the Badhelians cut their throats in order to not be enslaved. That would be a disgrace to their Goddess.
Hours later there was only one Badhelian soldier left who wasn't enslaved nor killed.
'I know you're hiding, come out and tell us where is Silvia and we shall set you free!'
Not even a sound.
'Come out and face us!' The Viking Leader screamed.
'My Lord may haps she is dead?' one Viking soldier said.
At that very moment a young woman came out. She was all bruised and wounded but she was standing still. The men were watching her every move.
'Where is Silvia?' The Viking leader shouted.
'Kohlung profudlare dema Badhelia!'
'I suppose she cursed us, my Lord!' A Viking soldier whispered.
'Dema Badhelia!', she screamed, 'Dema Badhelia!'
After this she fell down on the floor, bleeding. She looked at the Viking Leader and laughed.
'You shall never win against the sisterhood' she said and took her knife and cut her throat.
'Father, the Badhelians have never lost. But...'
'Son, we never lose! The Vikings never lose!'
Every man started cheering.
'Silence!', the Viking leader screamed, 'I hear a voice...'
Some men followed him towards a black door. They opened the door with no hesitation. They saw Silvia praying; she didn't pay any attention to the men that entered the sacred room.
'You lost, woman!'
Silvia didn't stop praying.

'You shall be my slave!' The Viking Leader screamed and laughed.
Silvia raised her head and looked up. She took a glass with poison and spilled it all over her body. Some men came closer to her. But none dared touch her; she was all covered in poison. She smiled at the men.
'For the sisterhood!', she screamed and fell down to a glowing hole.
The men came closer to the hole and saw that she fell down on needles which went through her body and caused fast death.
The men looked at each other and left the room.
The Sisterhood wasn't defeated. The sisterhood died for Badhelia.
The Vikings went back home with no screams or salutations. The son of the Leader committed suicide that night. He believed that Silvia loved him.
But Silvia only loved the sisterhood. She knew that it was time for the sisterhood to disappear to be able to...

'What the... I've never had dreams like that before' I said to myself when I woke up in the middle of the night. I washed my face and said in front of the mirror.
'My name is Christopher and that was one hell of a dream, damn it.'
I lay down on the bed.
'She knew that it was time for the sisterhood to disappear to be able to come back again.'
I said that unconsciously. I didn't hear myself saying that.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

*~The Sisterhood [Part 4]~*

I couldn't concentrate on anything that day. I was just looking at the clock. I was afraid that I'd fall asleep and miss the 8 o' clock meeting. Then I'd never know the name of that sleazy bastard that killed my wife.
07.00 PM
I am walking from corner to corner. My name is Christopher and my wife was murdered. I am going to discover the name of the killer at 08.15 PM. Why 08.15 PM? Easy. I need to spot Ana; I need to make her talk. And then she will spit it out. Just the name. Maybe the surname. Either way, I shall dig up the rest
07.20 PM
My name is Christopher. I am not going to the meeting. I'm not afraid. Maybe my wife's death should be left a secret to me and my family?
07.30 PM
I do not know. Should I go? Should I tell Mike? Should I take a knife with me?
07.45 PM
I am leaving. I am locking the door and making sure that I am not being watched. Nope, no one there, I guess it's safe to go.
I enter the local cafe. Not too many people there. About 10. I easily spot Ana. I want to make eye contact with her but she does not pay attention to me. I come near her and sit in front of her.
'Coffee?' she asked.
'I can't resist', I answered.
'I see you're nervous. You don't have to be.'
I opened my mouth to say something but she put a finger on my lips.
'The wig, you ask? Well, I don't want people to know that I told you about this.'
'About my wife's murder?' I almost screamed.
She looked at me and smiled. Then she looked left. Grabbed a cigarette and looked right. She stayed calm.
'No, not exactly.'
'Tell me, Ana, then why the fuck I am here?'
'It's not that easy, Tiger'
'I noticed. It's never easy with you. Good bye, Ana.'
'Shah... Why don't you relax? Sit and have a drink. You want to know SOMETHING don't you?'
The way she pronounced 'something' hypnotized me, and I just couldn't speak. All I could say was:
'Yeah, Ana.'
With a note of accomplishment she took a deep breath and looked at me.
'Have you ever noticed that the women here have never cried?'
'Not likely. I mean yes. I have never seen a woman cry in this town. Is it that important?'
'Well, yes. How many times have you seen girls fight in this town?'
I had flashbacks. The girls were certainly manly here.
'Loads. Are you saying those girls killed my wife? That's stupid.'
'No. You are stupid for thinking that. They are being trained.'
'What the heck are you talking about?'
'Have you ever entered the temple of Silvia?'
'Of course. It's a historical monument. Everyone was in that temple.'
'Have you been in the underground of that temple?'
'No, it's under construction.'
'Is it?'
'Yes it is.'
'I was there once. But that I will remember for the rest of my life.'
'What did you see? Ruins? Whoa...'
'No. It's a very clean and built-up place.'
'Silvia was a leader of a female tribe, called Badhelians. They were taught how to fight and die as a proud warrior. They were taught how to seduce men.'

'Whatever for?'
'They needed to sacrifice bodies. Male bodies. Only then their goddess, Badhelia, would give them immortality. But then, a ruthless tribe has attacked. Some say it were the Vikings. They raped and murdered all of the Badhelians. They kept hostage some of them, enslaved others... All except one, Silvia... She sacrificed herself for... The sisterhood.'
'She sacrificed herself?'
Ana smiled.
'Oh yes, she did. She lay down on needles. But it is said that her soul lives until now. Women know about the sisterhood. Men don't because they must not.'
'Why are you telling me this? I mustn't know.'
'Women here belong to the sisterhood. So did your wife. It was her I saw that day. I saw your wife, Ana. I saw other women that died.'
'Why are you not a part of the sisterhood?'
'The Badhelians were everything but prostitutes. Before sacrificing a man, they used him. Not every man. Not all men are handsome and I think you know it. If a son was born, he was killed immediately. If a daughter was born, it was a celebration.'
She lit another cigarette. Then she continued.
'They never told me about the sisterhood. Not about the Badhelian tribe.'
'Then how do you know this?'
'Your wife told me. Mike's wife told me, Elizabeth, I think. A few other younger girls told me. But then their leader came. The younger girls hid but your wife and some other women didn't have time to hide me not hide themselves. They were punished. They were ordered to have an argument with their husbands and commit suicide. They had to put the knife in themselves.'
She paused and covered her mouth. She started to cry.
'Put the knife in themselves, then take it out and throw it as far as they can to make it look like murder. Do you understand Chris?'
I was speechless.
'How could the leader predict that I would go to you?' I finally said.
'It didn't matter where you'd go. All that mattered was that you'd go. Somewhere. Anywhere, Chris.'
'Who is the leader?'
'The leader is supposed to be Silvia. Her soul lives in the leader. A kind of reincarnation. But I don't know that woman. She is a foreigner. They call her Silvia.'
I looked down.
'Do all women of this town except prostitutes belong to the sisterhood?'
'No. The only women that belong to the sisterhood have a symbol under their breasts. It's either the right one or the left one.'
I had flashbacks again. I did notice something strange about my wife, Ana. But now it became so crystal clear.
'You are in grave danger now, Ana.'
'No, Chris. I am not. I cried. They will think that I told you about somebody who hit me or my family... Or my unhappy childhood.'
'I am worried about you, Ana. I also can't express my gratitude. You look exhausted; let me lead you back home.'
'That would be nice. Let's go.'
I walked approximately 2 meters behind her. She said it would be for my own good. When we reached her home she tuned back and waited for me to come closer. And so I did.
'Chris... There is also one thing you need to know. There was one man who saw one of the processions of Silvia's so-called reincarnation. The guy is old and crazy. He comes up to almost every man in town and tells him that he is in grave danger. That's how that procession affected him. If he comes to you, don't get frightened.'
'He already has.'
'Did he frighten you?'
'A tiny bit', I even smiled. She smiled back at me.
'Don't ever speak about this with anybody, especially women. For your own good, please.'
'I won't Ana.'
I kissed her goodbye. A deep, passionate kiss. It was the least I could do. She at last revealed the truth that Mike couldn't reveal. This will be mine and hers secret. I can not tell Mike, or anybody else, for this matter. I want that damn sisterhood to be left a secret. But the thought that haunts me is that girls do know about it... But no one got hurt... Except my wife and some other women. Technically, it was their fault and...
'You are in grave danger!'
He scared the shit out of me and interrupted my thoughts.
'Fuck off, old timer!' I said
'You shan't be warned again! But mark my words, you will die! You will die!'
He walked away laughing so loudly I could hear him choke.
I was left on the streets alone. And it was so dark. I was without my Ana. I never had her. The sisterhood had her.
That's when I got the idea to ruin the sisterhood once and for all.


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