~*Back To The S^T^A^R^T

Well... I'm sooo off schedule with my writing, I'll try to write something tonight :) Meanwhile, I'd like to share 2 things with you, mainly my first ever story written in english (devoted to my dear friend Sunder) and my FIRST everrrr poem. (which i managed to write down & remember, cuz formally i dunno whether it's the very first poem in my entire life or not...) Sorry (not) but it's in polsh. If I have the will I shall translate it & put it into the comment box or something. IF. I want to spare you, you don't really wanna know this. lol. I'm such a loser. Anyway... Hope Everyone is fine... And I want to thank everyone for reading my mental things. You guys are the best. Hope you're all SUPERwell (& Mangue--> SUPERfine) lol. Hope you'll enjoy it & have quite a laugh.
Maria? Julka? Agata? Don't laugh at my polish poem too much ;P
***
There was something cold and blank behind her smile. She always was happy. She never even has thought about the fact that her life can change in one second. Why? She hasn't done anything bad. She didn't know why she deserved all this. She was just standing on that bridge and thinking. Jump or not? Jump or not? Jump! She has already stood up, ready to jump. Her feet didn't feel the ground. As if she was flying. And suddenly she felt cold, cold hands touching her waist. She was caught? Or in Heaven?
'What are you doing? Are you crazy?'
'Why did you save me?'
'Only weak people commit suicide. You are not like that, Shampa...'
'I don't want to live like this.'
'Life can change. Your name means it, Shampa as lighting.'
'I don't want to be this. I won't let this build up inside me.'
Shampa went away leaving her father alone on that forsaken bridge.
Not that the next day was something special, but it was in fact Shampa's wedding. She just woke up. And felt sad. She didn't want it. She didn't love him. Just didn't love at all.
'Your helpers are awaiting for your coming, Shampa', said the maid
'I'm not going.'
'Excuse me... Your father would be rather unhappy...'
'I'm not going.'
'Please. This is your wedding day. Don't you feel happy?'
'No.'
With that the maid left. Shampa was locked up in her room, she couldn't go anywhere. The helpers came into her room.
'Well, if you didn't want to leave your room, the helpers came here instead', said the maid
'Do you expect me to answer? '
'No... No... Don't answer.'
It took three hours to get Shampa dressed into her wedding sari. The jewelry was wonderful: shining, gold, pearls, silver' She wasn't happy.
'Can I be left alone before my long awaited wedding?' asked Shampa
'Surely.'
She was left alone again in her room. For her sake it was the first flour. She took off all the helpers work, that beautiful sari and put on some usual clothes. And escaped. Never to be heard from again.
***
'I was running and running and running. No one knows what it like is to loose your soul. No one knows what it like is to be reborn. The only people who knew me are gone. Gone, gone, without a trace... I remember it was raining. I wasn't crying. I was just running. I wanted to vanish. I stood there. I heard music. Piano...It was the piano. I stood there listening. I came near that house. It was beautiful... I was welcomed in. He gave me dry clothes. And I asked him if he could play some more for me. He played and played and played... Just as I asked. I fell asleep in the sound of music. That feeling was wonderful.'
'Do you hear something?'
'When I woke up, I saw him looking through the window. I asked his name. He said it was Safi. I repeated his name. It was beautiful. He only smiled at my mistaken face. I thought that this must be heaven. I was right, but I didn't know how right I was... Me and Safi we were walking the roads, forests, nature, he showed me lots of places, they were wonderful...'
'I'm scared...'
***
'No, Safi, not there... that's my home! They can recognize me!'
'Don't worry, my Sadaf...'
'Safi, I'm afraid! Let's not go there! Please!'
'Pearl, don't be afraid of everything! Look! This is a beautiful bridge!'
'I won't go there!'
'Why?'
'I can't! '
'All right, all right... Shampa, you are always afraid of everything.'
'No!'
'Yes!'
'Stop it!'
'Ok, ok, Pearl, I was just joking... Come on, let's go home, shall we?'
'Thanks God, Safi..'
***
'The funniest thing, that I never felt rain on my skin even when I was running, or standing. I never saw tears running down my cheeks. Was it because I have never cried? Or maybe it was because I was falling in love for the very first time? Anyway, I felt just joy and happiness, I was with my Safi. He always played such beautiful melodies on the piano. I couldn't bear not listening to them. They were like hypnosis. Irresistible. Unbearably irresistible. I always had the best clothes. They were always neat and clean. And the food brought by the servants was delicious. Time was flying fast, but I never felt that. I discovered that I am here with Safi for almost two years. I must confess, those years were the most incredible years in my life.’
'Voices again?'
'But he never asked me for marriage. I was afraid, that he doesn't love me. I couldn't bear it, so I asked him about that.'
***
'Safi, do you love me?'
'How could you doubt that?'
'How come you never asked me for marriage...?'
'What's the difference? We are here, you love me I love you...'
'But...'
'Shhh... You are tired. You should get some sleep...'
'Ok, Safi, I will...'
'It sometimes seems to me that the whole world has forgotten me. Only Safi always thinks about me and remembers me. I love that softness in him. I think if there is a person for whom I could die, that would be Safi. I know he could die for me...'
'Close your eyes...'
'I remember that time, when I was so afraid of lightning, he came to my room and was by my side until I fell asleep. That was my dearest moment. And I remember that he always turned the light on, when I was afraid of darkness. He is always with me. Funny, though, that already thirty years passed and I haven't changed a bit. Nothing changed in me. It's like I'm always the same. Safi says that people like me never change. I think he is right. But thirty years passed and I haven't changed?'
***
'Safi, I have the feeling you are not saying something...'
'How could I, Shampa...'
'Do you have a secret?'
'From you? Never, Pearl.'
'Liar!'
'No, I...'
'Liar!'
'Shampa. This is not for you.'
'Tell me!'
'No!'
'Tell me!'
'Shampa, I can't.'
'Tell me! You've always lied to me! You've never loved me!'
'That's not true! My Sadaf, I...'
'I'm sorry, how could I mistrust you...'
***
'Mum, tell me the story of this house that you bought.'
'No, sweetheart, it's scary...'
'But mum... Please... Could you?'
'Ok, Edhitha... There was a family here; they had a beautiful daughter, called Shampa. Unfortunately an evil man fell in love with her and insisted to marry her. The poor parents had no choice, but to make her marry him. The girl couldn't bear it and jumped off a bridge. This bridge...'
'But, mum, she is in a better place now...'
'Surely, sweetheart, she is somewhere happy, listening to beautiful melodies, like all happy souls...'
' hear her voice everyday, mum...'
'You are imagining things, Edhitha.'
'No, mum, you can hear her voice after it rains. She sometimes scares me.'
***
'That's not true! I'm not dead! How could I be dead? Safi? Safi? How could this happen?'
'...'
'Safi! Speak to me! How can it be?'
'You were young and couldn't bear marring that man...'
'What happened to you?'
'I was that man you didn't want to marry. I also jumped off that bridge.'
'Safi... I...'
'Come, Pearl, you must be tired, let's go home...'
'I...'
'Shhh... Don't say anything....
***
'Now I know the truth. How do I live? Do I live? I exist ok. Myself and Safi went to listen to nature's music today. I'm not afraid of the dark anymore, but I have a lot to learn. It's ok... Eternity is mine.'


Moje Zycie
Gdyz zycie moje jest tak krotkie
Pamietam, to dziecko malutkie,
To bylam ja: moje rece, moje nogi,
Matki cierpliwosc do mnie uczynila moje zycie-
Rajem, rajem, gdzie rosna drzewa,
Gdzie deszczyk czesto cicho polewa...
Posluchaj, slyszysz te cisze, piosenke,
Gdzie przyjaciele moga byc razem...
Gdzie nie ma oszustwa, klamstwa
Gdzie jest cicho,
Slyszysz, slyszysz, przyjacielu te cisze...
Tam zima pola sie biela,
Zobacz, jak barwne zycie dala ci matka,
Ty masz zycie podobne, podobne do raju,
Tylko zbyt czesto go nie cenisz...

The Orb - Kompania (Grooved Ware Mix) (Sam? I think u'd like this song/piece whatever it is.)