HEY!
Winter has come and my fave month, December. That's why I decided to change into a blueish template, to feel the snow that we lack in Lithuania at the moment.
I have something that I have been keeping away from everyone till December :) It's a last year's story that NO ONE has read yet. I think it's a very romantic story and it's about Christmas & the contrast between summer & winter all in one. Hope you like it.
I've also changed some musical tunes. Feel free to rock whilst u read LOL :D & while I'm here, I'd like to send my warmest wishes to everyone who beared with me in time of my hiatus. I'll be a year older soon, this month, in fact. This scares me :) Lotsa love & warm wishes towards all of you!
Edyta (Double Dee, Beaver, Dragon, Edda, Dyta, u name it ;D)
***
I don't really remember us talking ever since. No, no, no... I didn't mean to harm you, I swear, it just happened. I don't really know why. It was so warm, that day. Me, sitting in my room, reading a book. A book on geography, I believe. And you, watching me from way up there. Man, I remember how I wanted to go to the Honolulu Islands. Maybe because it was Christmas, filled with snow and I wanted sun. Maybe because I so-desperately wanted to lose myself in paradise. Or maybe it was because just the other day I was listening to a CD in a shop, full of candles, relaxing music, bath salt of different fragrances. That kind of vibe.
I drifted in my dreams and somehow didn't hear you come in. But I had such a feeling when you came in and I didn't spot your entrance. I had a feeling like some higher power was smiling at me, while I was myself: not praying everyday, not covered in any masks, not going to church and not realizing the whole concept behind Christmas. No, I've never cared about those things. Then I saw your face. You smiled at me. I got shy for a moment, hey, I wasn't expecting anyone. And then you came. And I realized that although I hadn't been expecting anyone, you came in and made it me happy.
Shit... Means that I was expecting you after all... But unconsciously... Still, I was.
I smiled back at you.
'Hey ', I said
'Interrupted you?'
'Not at all.'
You sat down next to me. I felt that you touched me. But you didn't. You sat down next to me in approximately two centimeters. And you didn't touch me, I know it. Still I felt something on me.
'Damn, where did you hurt yourself?', you asked me
'Oh... Here... I don't know.'
So this is what I felt... your look. You were looking at my hands... Face...
And, yes, we say:' I've been touched by an angel.' Yeah right... An angel comes down and touches you... Tell me another... So maybe an angel looks at a person and then that very same person feels it and convinces himself and his surrounders that he, in fact, has been touched by an angel. Well, maybe not.
'What are you reading?' Your voice, it somehow changed.
'About the Honolulu Islands.'
'Cool. When are you planning to go there?'
'Anytime.'
'Would you take me?'
'Only if you're good.'
'Ok. Is that a 'no'?'
'Nope. That's an 'anytime'.'
You know guys, when two people are talking; they sometimes have those so-called blank moments. Have you ever wondered what the other person is thinking about? I have. There can be two things. A person can wonder if he should leave or not. Or he's thinking what the other one is thinking. Well... If he is thinking about leaving, means he might also think about what he's going to do after his disappearance, he can manage his plans for the day or even for a whole lifetime.
'Why are you silent? What are you thinking about?' (Means he was thinking about things I had been thinking about)
'Nothing.' (And I was thinking what he had been thinking about)
He smiled at me.
Have you ever looked a person in the eye, while he's smiling? So straightly, stubbornly. I have. At that moment a person's eye is filled with purity. And they are shining so brightly. And, hey, just listen to this; you can see the kind of heart that person has if you look him in the eye.
Wait, then, if you look at his nose, you will get information about his lungs or liver? Baloney.
I smiled back. This was a warm moment, just because you accidentally touched me with your leg.
'Sorry.'
No. I still don't know why I have been laughing for about ten minutes. I would look like a mad person if you haven't been there to join my loud laughter.
'So why did you say 'sorry'?'
‘I somehow touched you.’
'I didn't feel anything.'
'Really? Next time I will try harder.'
Again the laughter. And hey... There was nothing to laugh at. Oh... I remember that it was hard to breathe afterwards.
'Merry Christmas, honey', you said
'Thank you. Merry Christmas you too.'
'Here is something for you.'
'My Gosh, you shouldn't have.'
'Open it.'
'Ok'
And when you open a present, you wonder what the hell can it be, because you seem to have everything you've ever wanted and yet another present is given to you.
One more thing, which is interesting, is the expression on a person's (who gives you the present) face. He is smiling; looking at you, at the present and once again at you. So then you think, if he's smiling and wants you to see the present... Means, the present has to be unexpected and incredibly special.
'Thank you. Thanks. This is beautiful. But this was your ring?'
'Don't like it?'
'I love it.'
'It's a piece of me. I want you to know that I love you thiiiiiiiiiiiiis much.'
'Huh? And I love you thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much.'
Now why did I show my tongue...? Again, the laughter... I began to feel tired. So I lay down, closed my eyes for a second. I opened my eyes and you were gone without a trace. How? In one eye blink? It's less than a second.
In twenty minutes I went to another room. I thought maybe you joined my family for a Christmas meal. Instead I discovered... You'd never been here.
My mum told me to sit down. I did that. Then told me to stay calm. And only then she told me about the thing she heard on the news.
'On the way to the countryside, a young man dies in a terrible car accident.'
I couldn't breathe at all. I sat there for thirty minutes speechless. Then I screamed.
'He wanted to visit me, mum. He wanted to be with me in this house, on this Christmas Eve. He wanted to give me a present. He... He was here with me!'
Hysterically, I was running through out the whole house, searching for him. He was not dead. Furthermore, he was talking to me and gave me his ring. He had told me about it. It was a present from his grandfather... But the ring once belonged to his unknown ancestor.
I didn't find any sign of him being here today. No wonder, I didn't feel his touch. Maybe I was dreaming? So why the fuck am I wearing this ring? I stopped searching. I fell down on that solid ground. I saw his silhouette, looking straight at me, once again, smiling. I closed my eyes and screamed so hard that I lost my voice. My parents found me laying there, on the ground, where I fell down, and crying without a sound.
And no, I didn't commit suicide, because of my unhappy love. I understood that my love is waiting for me. Maybe it plans to start in another life.
I left this fucking house and went to the Honolulu Islands; I took him with me, as I promised. It was a lot of fun, until...
'Girl drowns in the ocean. Rescuers could not save her due to unknown circumstances.'
I don't remember us talking ever since that day. Until now... As we everyday smile... Fall, winter - at that old house. Spring, summer - on the Honolulu Islands. We smile everywhere, everyday. We don't talk anymore. I've never taken that ring off. It protects me... (From what?)... From thinking about the future and realizing there is none... For us.
